Last Man Standing (Broken WHYYYY!)
by Caecus Discord
Summary: What happened? Hm? Well, I'm not quite sure of that myself. Most of the formatting has changed and, erm, broken. So, while I try and fix that, please enjoy this relaxing elevator music. Also, if you've never seen this story, I'd recommend not clicking on that view button. Because let me tell you; you will be SO disappointed. For more information, visit chapter 15.
1. Chapter I - Upfront?

**Chapter I**

**Upfront?**

* * *

_Moxxie's Bar, 12:09 pm, Friday_

* * *

Maya, Salvador, Axton, and Zer0 were all sitting in one of the bar's booths, Maya beside Zer0, and Axton beside Salvador.

Axton was on what had to be his fifteenth beer. Salvador was frankly surprised that Axton was still alive.

"And then I said: 'I know you are, so what am I?'" Axton burst out into laughter, pounding the table as though it was the funniest thing he had ever said, even though had technically slurred it.

His laughter was cut off by a series of hiccups, which turned into burps, which ended in him throwing up over the glass, into the booth behind him.

"Oops." He hiccupped again. "My bad."

"Yeah." Salvador grumbled, glancing into the unfortunate booth. "Your bad."

"It's not my fault I can't hold my liquor!" Axton complained, the slur more prominent.

"You drank fifteen bottles of alcohol, _Hombre._ Almost no one can hold _that much liquor_." Salvador protested, looking to his teammates on the other side of the booth for support.

"Axton, go home. You're _very _drunk." Maya said, barely paying attention. Instead, she was reading a novel.

Axton looked to the two, and hiccupped. "Why do we bring either of you? Ever? Maya barely participates in social interaction, and Zer0…" The Commando hesitated. "Zer0, you don't _do _anything."

The Assassin recoiled, as if hurt. _"Dick." _He muttered.

Axton immediately shot up from his seat, leaning across the table. "Watch it, four fingers!"

"Hey," Salvador protested, trying to pull Axton back into his seat. "Calm down."

"_Wanna know something?" _Salvador groaned, knowing full well that the bill was probably going to go to him if the bar was destroyed. Again.

"_I can count all my fingers. / How 'bout you, Soldier?"_ Axton's eyes narrowed as he held up his hand.

"Shit…" He cursed as his fingers seemed to blur, first there were six, then nine, and so on.

Axton abruptly closed his hand and made to punch Zer0, but his fist's progress halted, his arm being pulled back by Salvador.

"You wanna-" He hiccupped. "You wanna fight, short-stuff?"

Salvador looked stunned. "Short-stuff? That was the best you had?"

"It's better than whatever you got." Axton burped, and Maya leaned away, just in case their booth was the unfortunate booth this time.

"I bet," Axton continued, "That I could beat you in a fight. The…Therefore! For, like, the next year, it's…it's battle royale, bitch! Or, at least until you give up." Axton finished the statement with a fit of hiccupping.

Salvador looked grim. It was time for Axton to face the consequences of being this smashed.

"It is _on, Amigo._" He growled, shaking Axton's hand.

"_So. How do you think / this will go, Siren. Best guess? / Money's on Axton." _Zer0 whispered to Maya, his head never turning away from his unfinished drink.

"Putting money on Axton when he's fighting Salvador is like putting money on _you_ when you're fighting _me_." She whispered back, not noticing the crimson "o_o" that had appeared on the Assassin's faceplate.

"_May I interject?" _Zer0 asked, tapping the table.

"Holy shit, guys! Zer0's doing something!" Axton exclaimed, leaning in close.

Zer0 grunted, before continuing. _"The Siren and I would like / to join this battle." _Zer0 finished, a smiley face appearing on his visor.

The mentioned Siren was baffled. "You are signing me up, to try and kill my friends, for "Like," A year?" The Siren looked thoughtful. "Sure."

"It has been decided!" Axton announced, standing up. "The Woman and Salvador versus me and Zer0!"

Maya looked appalled. "The _Woman?_"

"Don't question my antics, _Woman!_" Axton argued, dropping into his seat. "I'm so drunk, it's pointless."

That was something that could not be argued with.

* * *

"**Holy shit you re-wrote it!"**

**Indeed, dear reader (Assuming I'm not talking to myself)**

**I have re-wrote it! Simply due to the fact that it was such shit before! Still short, though.**

**More to come,**

**-Caecus Discord**


	2. Chapter II - Repercussions

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongChapter II/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongRepercussions/strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emAxton's apartment, 2:44 pm, Saturday/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton groaned as the golden rays of sun shone through his window, emRight into my fucking eyes!/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He grunted as he sat up, looking at his alarm-clock./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Ugh," He muttered, his head aching of hangover. "2:44. It's too early for this shit."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emSo goddamn lazy. / How do you do anything? / This is so stupid."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Zer0." Axton murmured, burying his head into his pillow./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"All of the sudden, his eyes snapped open./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0?" The Commando asked, bolting up. "What the fuck?!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Now that he had cleared the sleep from his eyes, he could clearly see the Assassin perched on his bed-post, just out of the afternoon sun. emIs Vampire a possibility?/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emWhat?" /emThe Assassin asked, staring at the Soldier in confusion. em"Problem?"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton was shocked. "Yes! A big problem! You're in my room! At 2:46 in the afternoon! The fuck are you, a Vampire? Go to sleep!/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emThat IS pathetic. / Did you not wake up early / When you were with Dahl?" /emThe words scratched at Axton's pride./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Yes, I did. But I'm not with Dahl anymore! Now, I sleep whenever the fuck I want, wherever the fuck I want and right now, I want to sleep as far away from you as possible!" The Commando ranted, glaring at Zer0./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin cocked his head. em"Someone is cranky. / Have you forgotten the bet? / Already? Hopeless."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton's eyes widened. "The bet. Ah shit. Alright, get out, get out." He kicked lightly at the Assassin, unsurprised when he dodged it with ease./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 leapt off of the bedpost and began walking over to the window./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emWe regroup at three. / Moxxie's bar. Be there, or else / I'll kill you myself." /emThe last words had barely reached Axton's ears before the Assassin had disappeared, the open curtains swaying lightly in the breeze./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Well shit." Was all he said, before heading to the washroom./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"After a shower and a quick shave, he dashed off to Moxxie's bar./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongAlso re-written! Hurrah!/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongIt's still short as shit, but whatever. Think of it as the introduction chapters./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongOr something./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongAnd I just realized I re-uploaded the original chapter as chapter two. Yes, it was very funny./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong-Caecus/strong/p 


	3. Chapter III - Dwarf-Thief Dream Trip

**Chapter III**

**Dwarf-Thief Dream Trip**

* * *

_Maya's apartment, 8:02 am, Saturday_

* * *

Maya awoke to the sound of someone in her kitchen exactly twenty eight minutes before her alarm wa set to go off.

"What?" She muttered, pulling a pistol from under her pillow.

She slowly made her way down the hall, stopping before she reached the kitchen.

The Siren crouched low, examining the kitchen.

She could see the front door from her current position, the lock had been broken.

"A burglar? Robbing a Vault-Hunter? This is gonna be good." She whispered to herself, a smile already forming on her face as she prepared to dash around the corner.

"Three…two…" Maya spun around the corner, slamming her foot into the back of the robbers unusually close to the ground knee, causing it to buckle, before swinging the barrel of the gun in an arc, catching the attacker in the head.

"Hah! Try to rob my home, bi-…" She froze mid-sentence, staring down at the unconscious form of Salvador. "Oh."

_Maya's apartment, 8:30 am, Saturday_

Salvador awoke to the sound of an alarm clock.

_Where…_

_He could feel himself slipping back into unconsciousness. He could not let that happen. He had things to do, and no matter where he was, he had to strike first. He could sense his kidnapper moving about the room, and knew what to do about it. When the time was right, he would attack, and be free. Then he would free the others-_

_What others?_

_Where the hell was he? There must be others. And wherever he was, he would most definitely free them. Once he did, he would be revered as a Hero, remembered for all eternity. They would erect a statue in his honor. A tall statue. He didn't want to be remembered as a Heroic dwarf._

_Wait…_

_Was he a dwarf? What if he had amnesia, and his current set of memories was a false one, and in actuality, he lives in what his false memories called "Medieval times" and was actually a dwarf, being held as a slave?_

_Was the object digging into his back his mighty sword, that he would use to defeat the slavers holding him hostage?_

_It had to be._

_He would be remembered, as a heroic dwarf._

_But first, he…_

_Wait…_

_He can feel it. Now, NOW! _

He punched upwards instinctively, his fist catching the jaw of the person above him.

"Holy shit, Salvador!" Cried a distinctly female voice. "What the hell?"

_Salvador. Yes, that was his name. Wait, he was on Pandora… And he just punched… Aw shit, no hero dwarf._

"Sorry, _chica." _Salvador grumbled as he sat up, rubbing his temples. "The hell hit me?"

Maya turned away casually, looking out the window. "I think it was the fridge door. Caught you good."

"Yeah, it did." He grunted. "Anyways, the reason I came!" He remembered now. "We need a plan!"

"A plan?" Maya asked, folding her arms. "What, so team "Woman" doesn't lose?"

Salvador winced. "That was Axton. Not me, _Amiga._"

Maya seemed to accept that.

* * *

**Yeah. It is kind of stupid. Yes. I realize that. No, I regret nothing.**

**It was basically filler before, now you can have a giggle.**

**Or not.**

**Whatever, it's four. I need to finish this.**

**Today I finished chapter six, tonight I finished chapter seven, re-wrote three others, and created a cover using a program I had forgotten about until I needed it, learned that my Twitch was hacked (Not that I used it. I did nothing with it. Why?) I'm going to bed now.**

**FUCK**

**YOU**

**WORDS**


	4. Chapter IV - Don't Stop Believing!

**Chapter IV**

**Don't stop believing!**

The four vault hunters stood in the center of the sanctuary.

The bullet holes that littered the area were scars of the earlier battle.

"Surrender!" Axton called, his hands on his knees as he fought to catch his breath.

"N-… Never." Maya said adamantly, also gasping for air as she drew her pistol.

Axton reached for his assault rifle, and in an instant, they both had their guns pointed to each other's head.

"What the HELL is going on?" A very miffed Lilith had arrived, her tattoos glowing faintly.

"He started it!" Maya exclaimed, pulling back her gun.

"I did not!" Axton protested.

Lilith's glare immediately shifted towards Axton, causing his shoulders to slump a little.

"Okay." He said, throwing his arms into the air. "Maybe… A little."

"This is stupid. We need to be shooting bad guys, not each other!" She said. "Now. No more fi-" She was cut off as she collapsed to the ground, a dart embedded in her shoulder. "Urmf?" She asked as she lost consciousness.

Everyone looked over to a sheepish Zer0, whom had a pistol drawn.

"_Conflict continues. / She's not winning. Not this time. / Fuckin' pinball, man." _He said, holstering the pistol.

Axton shrugged. "It worked. I guess."

"So…" Maya spoke up. "Who's moving her?"

Salvador stared at Lilith for a couple seconds.

"Do we have to?" He finally asked.

His question was met with "No" and: "Probably not." As well as:_ "She's fine there." _

Everyone continued to stare at Lilith.

"So what now?"

* * *

Salvador and Maya's guns were pressed up against Zer0 and Axton's heads, while Zer0 and Axton's guns were pressed up against Salvador and Maya's heads. Western style.

"I never thought it would come to this." Axton said, his face serious.

"_Inevitable / It was bound to happen soon / This is stupid though. "_ Zer0 said, a frown appearing on his face-plate.

"Is that tumbleweed?" Maya said, watching the ball bounce across the area. "How did it get… Never mind."

She readied her trigger finger. It all came down to this.

* * *

Maya, Axton, Zer0, and Salvador sat around the Pinball machine. Maya and Zer0 were competing at the moment.

"_Damn it! Damn it all! / My skill at pinball unmatched / Until the Sirens." _He cursed, watching his ball disappear into the hole. **(!)**

They had gotten bored of standing around with their guns pointed at each other. It had been embarrassing when they realized that none of their guns had any ammo in the chambers, and had decided to go over to Moxxie's bar and try their hand at competitive pinball.

"That's… one for us… one… for you." She finished writing down the score.

"Anyone else think this is kind of stupid?" Salvador asked, watching Maya and Axton face off. "We're Vault hunters. We should be killing each other, or doing manly stuff."

"And Pinball's not manly?" Axton asked absently, his attention completely on the ball behind the glass.

"No! No it's not!" He exclaimed, rising from his seat. "We should have a drinking contest!"

"Maya glanced at him. "That's how we got here, remember?"

Salvador sighed, sitting down.

The Vault Hunters ended up playing Pinball all night, and passing out. Maya was under the Machine, Zer0 somehow on top of it. Axton was sprawled across the floor, and Salvador had passed out at the bar, piss-drunk.

Manly

As for the pinball, the score had ended in a tie, two-hundred and thirty eight to two-hundred and thirty eight.

* * *

**(!) – **_**Competitive pinball is a game I have devised where players use the same machine, with separate balls and controls. The first person to have their ball fall into the hole loses.**_

* * *

**I have returned to this story. I saw some of this shit in a dream, and was like; "It's a sign."**

**Hopefully, it will not take another crack-dream to get me to update again.**

**Alright, good good.**

**Edit - I forgot to do the formatting. Sorry.**


	5. Chapter V - Do Not Rock The Machine

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongChapter V/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongDo not tip or rock the machine… Ever./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emSaturday, 1:05 pm/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emScooter's Garage (Exterior)/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya jumped as a loud clang rang out across sanctuary./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She turned to see a frustrated Zer0 kicking one of the few vending machines that sold drinks, instead of guns, or bombs, or ammunitions, or any other type of death./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What's up?" She asked, walking over./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"After a heated debate involving Salvador attacking Axton in the shower, they had agreed that Friday to Monday would be days of peace, and prosperity. As in; they would stop trying to kill each other./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emThis vending machine / has consumed my pocket change / It will pay dearly. " /emHe answered, seemingly glaring at the box./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She stared at the vending machine./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A rational person would calm Zer0 down, but a broken vending machine was serious business. And this emwas /emPandora./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""We emdo /emlive in a floating city." She said, a smirk on her face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emWhat do you suggest? / Will we be blowing it up? / Or chopping it down?" /emHe asked, confused./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMoxxie's Bar/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Yo, Sal?" Axton asked, glancing away from the mounted television. Moxxie's bar was always streaming Psycho Ball./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Yes, amigo?" He asked, his attention unwavering. He loved Psycho Ball./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Do you ever get a feeling that you are missing something awesome?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Gunzerker seemed to consider this./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""No." He finally said. "But I trust my gut, and it says that someone just came up with a terrible idea."/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emNear Moxxie's Bar/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya grunted from beside Zer0, her back to the vending machine./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She noticed a few odd stares as people watched the two vault hunters pushing the Vending machine through town./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Are we almost there?" She asked, wiping sweat from her forehead./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin peeked around the vending machine, estimating the distance to the nearest ledge./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"After a bout of mathematical shit, he finally answered: em"No."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The began pushing again./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMoxxie's Bar/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton shot up from his laid back position in his chair as a man came running into the bar, panicked./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""The Vault Hunters! They're about to release Soda Mc Soda-Bop!" He screamed, running in circles./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What?" Axton muttered, staring at the lunatic./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Soda Mc Soda-Bop! Everyone knows the legend of Soda Mc Soda-Bop! He lives in the broken down vending machine, devouring the coins people feed him. Every three years, a ritual is performed. We get candles and everything. We give him, like, twenty dollars in quarters, and in return, he doesn't destroy the city!" He explained, staring at Axton as though he were an idiot./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton rose from his seat. "Sal, we're going. Come on, hurry!"/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emNear Moxxie's Bar/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0?" Maya asked, huffing as she leaned against the machine./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A question mark appeared on his visor./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Did you ever notice how this vending machine never worked, yet was always kept in good condition?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 and Maya stared at the vending machine./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Fuck it." They both said at the same time, giving it the final push./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The vending machine teetered, before tipping over and falling off of the ledge./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They followed the vending machines progress, until it was a tiny speck in the distance./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emWe did a good thing. / We've saved quarters everywhere / from a horrid fate." /emZer0 finally proclaimed, sitting down./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Guys! GUYS!" Axton and Salvador came running around the corner, panting./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Where. Is. The vending machine?" Axton asked between breaths, looking between the two./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Axton?" Maya questioned, staring at him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""W-… What?" He asked, leaning against the wall. Since Jack died, he had quit his emrun-around-in-circles-chasing-after-a-giant-rich-company-man-asshole /emprogram./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""It can't hurt you anymore."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I…" Axton trailed off, as if remembering something terrible/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Come ON!" Axton shouted, giving the vending-machine a shove./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emIt tilted back and forth, before finally falling and pinning Axton to the ground./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emHe was found the next morning, passed right the fuck out./em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I don't want to talk about it."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emIdiotas/em, The vending machine! It contained a being of godly power!" Salvador exclaimed, slapping Axton's shoulder./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya looked incredulous. "The… Godly… What the hell?" She trailed off as the sky grew dark, rain falling from the black and grey./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""It's happening!" Salvador cowered behind Axton./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emLos espíritus malignos! Begon! Los espíritus malignos! /ememBegon!" /emSalvador began chanting as though it would sate the God's bloodlust./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""strongWho dares disturb the slumber of Soda Mc Soda-Bop, the all mighty and powerful!" /strongA deep voice boomed through the skies./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya peered over the ledge. "Something's coming!" She announced, backing away./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"All of the sudden, a short man wearing a suit which appeared to be comprised of recycled beverage containers rose from below, propelled by orange soda being launched from his hands./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"An exclamation mark appeared on Zer0's' mask./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emI don't understand. / What in the actually shit / is happening now?" /emHe asked, staring up at Soda Mc Soda-Bop./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Everyone was looking at Soda Mc Soda-Bop, frozen./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""WELL? SHOOT HIM!" Axton shouted, drawing his rifle and unleashing a burst of gunfire at the god./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Everyone leaped into action, drawing their weapons and firing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""strongYou think your… Primitive weapons, will work on me?" /strongHe asked, sending Axton flying with a burst of Black Cherry soda./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Commando slid across the ground, cursing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""This is Black Cherry, asshole! You know how hard it will be to get this out?!" He complained, wiping it out of his eyes./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""strongI come from a dying planet, launched here as a mere baby in that vending machine! And you broke it!" /strongHe shouted, blasting Zer0 into a wall with a beam of Fruitopia./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The wall cracked behind Zer0 as he slammed into it, falling to his knees. em"How is he so strong? / Using just fruit beverage! / I will slay this "God". /emHe exclaimed as he rose to his feet, brushing off the concrete shards./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0! Maya! You unleashed him, you fix this shit!" Axton called over his shoulder, dodging a rain of Brisk Iced Tea. "Collect twenty dollars worth of quarters, and bring them here!" He ducked under some Mountain Dew. "Also, grab some scented candles. Those are the shit."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya glared at Axton, before grabbing Zer0's shoulder, stopping him from charging Soda Mc Soda-Bop again./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You heard him. Go!" She shoved him towards one street, and then sprinted down the other./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Think they'll be alright?" Salvador asked, glancing to his friend./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Psh… Yeah." Axton's laughter died off. "Probably."/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 punched the man in the gut./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""P-please! Take my money!" The man cried, keeling over/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emIt's all I wanted. / We could have avoided this / Quarters only, chump." /emA ";)" appeared on his face-plate before he vanished, leaving only a slight breeze and a befuddled man. A man that no longer had a wallet./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Scented candles. Do you have any?" The Siren asked Marcus, the man in question leaning back in his chair./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Ah, perhaps. How much are you willing to pay?" He asked, a smile on his face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A minute later, he found himself lying flat on his ass, the bars that separated him from his customers melted, and an enormous hole in his safe./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The would later find that only the scented candles had been taken, and only the blue ones./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Axton! We got it!" Maya called, running into the square./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She froze as her mind explained the scene before her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A beat up Salvador was punching the god Soda Mc Soda-Bop in the face over and over again, while an unconscious Axton was sprawled across the cobblestone, his assault rifle mangled./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""strongBe gone!/strong " Soda Mc Soda-Bop ordered, sending the Gunzerker flying with a swipe of his Doctor Pepper infused hand./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Oh... Alright then…" Maya whispered, watching Salvador fly off of the city, disappearing into the clouds below./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She looked over to Zer0, whom had just come around the corner to watch his friend die./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What do we do with these!?" She shouted over the now pounding rain, gesturing to the sack of Quarters he had slung over his shoulder./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 seemed to consider the question, shifting the sack. em"Make a pentagram. / That's how it works in movies. / Movies NEVER LIE." /emHe shouted back, sprinting towards Soda Mc Soda-Bop./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"In a flash, the quarters were released, pilling on top of the vertically challenged Soda-god./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emQuickly!" /emHe called./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya jolted into action, placing each of the blue candles into position until it formed a Pentagram./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Ready!" She called./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Then she felt it./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Deep within, in her Siren blood, the words came./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She began chanting in an ancient language, watching the in amazement as the quarters began to glow red with heat./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""strongWhat!? No! I may hate you for breaking my stuff, but I'm grateful for being let free, really!" /strongThe god protested, clawing at the molten mass of metal that rose up around him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""strongNo! Noooooo!" /strongHe cried as the metal solidified./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya blinked./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Once/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Twice/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Then again./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Sitting in front of her, was the exact same vending machine./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The machine shook a bit, before depositing a label-free purple can of soda./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What." She asked, staring at the metal cylinder as if waiting for a reply, letting the rain run down her face./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""To Salvador." Axton said solemnly, sipping from his glass/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0's face plate flashed an "R.I.P" Before the light died out./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya shook her head, sipping from her drink./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"All of the sudden, the bar door burst open, and everyone looked up; prepared to greet their friend./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Uh…" A sheepish Scooter surveyed the bar. "Sorry 'bout that. I'm… I'm goin'… I'm... I'm goin'..." He said, backtracking through the doors./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton sighed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Suddenly, the door opened and Salvador came in for real. He was covered from head to toe, multiple holes were torn and scorched into his shirt./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The three looked up, staring at the man./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Sal?" Axton questioned, a smile appearing on his face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The smile found itself buried in the now shattered wooden remains of the table./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya jumped slightly, while Zer0 sighed; staring at the remnants of his unfinished drink./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Do you know? How LONG of a walk it was to get to a buzzard?! And then the costs for using it! Ridiculous!" He shouted angrily./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""How are you even alive?" Maya asked, staring at the Gunzerker./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""We live on Pandora, emChika." /emHe said, dusting his jeans off. "Low gravity."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya slapped herself mentally, while Axton slapped himself physically. A "FML" Appeared on Zer0's face-plate./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Why didn't you guys even check if I was dead!?" He asked, upset. "You didn't even try to find my body!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"~O~/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador whined for the rest of the week over such a minor misunderstanding. Movie Rule Number Four is emphasized here; Alive Until Proven Dead./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMoxxie's Bar (Exterior)/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 tossed the can of soda to Maya, whom gave him a confused look in return./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emI hate grape soda. / Who knows how old it could be. / It belongs to you." /emThe Assassin stated, walking away./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya returned her stare to the can. "Who doesn't like grape soda?"/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongSo. Every Saturday. At least. I hope./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThis was a bit sillier. I'm tired./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongLet me know if this crossed the border of "Humor, Silly Fun" and "Dumb, Stupid, Ridiculous."/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongOr are they the same?/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong~Caecus/strong/p 


	6. Chapter VI - G&G - i

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongChapter VI/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongOf Gladiators and Galactic Warlords - i/strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emSome Street, 9:23 pm, Saturday/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton stared at the gun that had been dropped into his hands./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What do you want me to do with this?" He inquired as he turned to his friend; Salvador. "I've already got a gun. A lot of guns."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Gunzerker laughed as he slung a rifle over his shoulder. "Do they have spinny barrels?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton's eyebrow formed a confused arch. "Do they need spinny barrels?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador leapt up onto one of the many crates that dotted Sanctuary's streets, plopping into a seated position./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""If you want to play Russian Roulette; yes, they do." He said, pulling a single bullet out of his pocket./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Commando froze, his eyes locked on the bullet./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador tossed the bullet to Axton, frowning as it bounced off of the Ex-Dahl's chest./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Do I look like an idiot to you?" He finally asked, folding his arms./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador looked thoughtful. "Well-"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Don't answer that." Axton cut him off, his eyes narrowing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador hopped down from the box, crouching to retrieve the bullet./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""SHIT" Axton shouted in surprise as he fell backwards, a red blur passing over Salvador's head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emHijo de PUTA"/em Salvador exclaimed as Axton's knee clipped the Pandoran's forehead. "Watch it!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton landed flat on his back, staring up at the blue sky in a daze. emIt... It's beautiful./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The blue sky was subsequently blocked out by Salvador. emEw./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""'Ey," He asked, offering the Commando a hand. "You alright?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton took the hand, pulling himself up./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Did you see that?" He questioned, looking in the direction the red blur had gone./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Uh…" The Gunzerker looked around, seemingly perplexed. "No? I heard a little girl, though."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton groaned./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I knelt down to get my bullet back," Salvador continued. "And then emauge/em. You scream like a small girl and kick me in the face."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton rubbed the back of his head. "Well. That's… right. For the most part. I guess." He turned and went off in the direction the blur had come from./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Where are you going?" Salvador called after him, confused./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton glanced over his shoulder. "I'm checking something out. I'll be back soon!" He replied. "Stay!"/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emTallest Tower in Sanctuary, 9:41 pm, Saturday/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 sat alone atop the tallest tower in Sanctuary, polishing his sniper-rifle./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emOh, what to do, Hm? / I am bored. This is not good. / Someones gonna die." /emThe Assassin mused, raising the rifle and peering down the scope./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He breathed a small, amused em"Oh." /emAs he spotted the hooded figure watching him from a distant rooftop, the weapon in it's hand an obvious sword of some type./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emIs that… Could it be? / Yes, I did leave you for dead. / No hard feelings, right?" /emZer0 did not let his sights stray from the figure, and waited until it had jumped off of the roof into an alleyway below./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin lowered his rifle, placing it beside him carefully, as not to scratch it./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emShould I let them know? / It's just such a long way down." /emHe laid back, resting his back against the wall./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emThey'll figure it out."/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emJust Outside Scooter's Garage, 10:12 pm, Saturday/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya peeked cautiously over her book, staring at the barrel as it silently rolled to a stop in front of her, a menacing owl painted on it in blue./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Oh." Maya whispered, placing the book beside her as she hopped off of the crate. "Where did you come from?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Her eyes widened as she dove forwards, barely avoiding the red disk that sailed above her head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Her hand went for her emHellfire, /emcursing as her hands found nothing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She rolled away as a sword slammed into the pavement, webs of cracks spreading from the area./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren swept her legs around, catching the hooded woman by surprise, toppling her to the ground./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Before Maya could rise, the woman had scrambled to her feet, dashing off into the alleyway behind Scooter's garage. strong(!)/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Ah, crap." She muttered, focusing her mind on the small phone icon at the top-left corner of her vision./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She let it ring for a while, before speaking./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Hello?" She asked, sprinting down the Alleyway the woman had disappeared into. "Anyone copy?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emHola." /emSalvador's voice buzzed through, his footsteps audible due to how close he was to the ground./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emAffirmative." /emThe sound of Zer0 climbing and leaping across the rooftops could be faintly heard over the ECHO device./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya turned the corner sharply, catching a glimpse of a scarf whipping around the corner./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I was just attacked by some sort of Assassin. She wears a hood and scarf, and uses a Gladius and Shield."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren suddenly noticed the absence of their Commando friend./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Axton?" She asked, waiting for a response. "Axton? Do you copy?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She continued to wait for a response. "Axton? Salvador? Zer0?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Axton's busy." A serious female voice responded from directly beside her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"May leapt backwards, one hand bracing herself against the wall, the other holding up the emHellfire/em, pointed in the voice's direction./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You would do well to clear your schedule as well." The Woman stepped from the shadows of the alleyway, using the disk affixed to her arm to bash the emHellfire /emout of Maya's hands. "You and I are going to take a walk."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya channeled her power into her hand, using it to throw the Woman down the alleyway into a pile of trash bags./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren ducked down, snatching the emHellfire /emoff of the ground while simultaneously dodging under the shield-like disk./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She fired off a burst, the bullets igniting the trash as the Woman leapt from the trash, rolling behind a nearby dumpster./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya kept her sub-machine gun trained on the dumpster as she backed out of the alleyway, taking cover around the corner./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Looking for me?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya jumped, trying to spin and aim her gun at the same time./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The gun was caught as the Woman chopped at her hand, effectively disarming her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Urgh!" Maya grunted as the Woman spun her around, putting her in an arm-bar./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You're a Siren." It was a statement, not a question. "You were involved in Jack's death. Crazy bastard had it coming, but Hyperion's not happy." The Woman continued./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You know so much about me… But I didn't catch your name." Maya said through gritted teeth, trying to see the Woman behind her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emAthena." /emA new voice joined the conversation from above./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0." The Woman – Athena – Acknowledged the Assassin that watched from the rooftop above./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0? Do you know this crazy bi-" She cut herself off in a groan as Athena bent her arm further back./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emAn old acquaintance. / She was the top Assassin / working for Atlas." /emHer black-clad friend dropped from the roof, casually bouncing off of Athena's head and landing in a crouch./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Woman cursed as she released Maya, clutching the spot Zer0 hand kicked off of./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'm here too!" Salvador sprinted out of an Alleyway, his guns blazing into the sky as his little legs carried him as fast as they could./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya ducked away from the Woman, once again snatching the emHellfire /emoff of the ground./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Rolling away from Athena, she came up in a crouch with her gun trained on the Hooded Woman. "Freeze."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya could see that Zer0 had drawn his sword, the blade placed at Athena's throat./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emThere's nowhere to go." /emThe Assassin said confidently, his blade held perfectly still. em"Just tell us who sent you, yeah? / We can all go home."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0!" Maya exclaimed, her glare shifting from Athena to the Assassin. "What about Axton?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A crimson glow washed over the back of the Gladiator's head as a red "..." flickered to life on his faceplate. em"And return the idiot." /emHe sighed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena cocked her head away from the blade, and faster than Maya or Salvador's eyes could see, she was suddenly facing Zer0, her shield clashing against his sword as she struggled to draw her Gladius./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"In the split second, Zer0's position had changed as he cleaved his Katana downwards, only to have it blocked by Athena's Gladius./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I've delivered the Idiot to my superiors. As for the information…" Athena spun away as Zer0 disappeared./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You'll have to work for that, old friend." emstrong(!)/strong/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emTo Be Continued/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong(!)/strongemstrong- /strong/emstrongFor story improvement purposes, the city has been extended. It's about three times as large as it used to be. All the previous buildings, however, are still the same./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrong(!) – I kind of figured Zer0 and Athena would know each other, just because of how similar Zer0 is to the Lance Assassins. Perhaps he's the only/last male Lance Assassin, I dunno. There's still the chance that he's a Cyborg, or an Eridian, or some sort of Mutant or Robot./strong/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongSo. Occasionally, I will make a story arc. It will derive from the usual pissing about, and instead focus on a mini-story of sorts. This is part one of the "Of Gladiators and Galactic Warlords" Arc./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongI don't know how long it will be, but it helps with not having to make a new story every time I get a new idea. I write it down, plan it for a new arc. Done./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThis story isn't going to become a complete shit-storm of stories, though. They will all be set in the same universe, and will be somewhat rarer./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThere is going to be a lot of shenanigans in between, all involving our favourite heroes trying to kill each other./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongSee you next time./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong...Metaphorically, of course.../strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong-Caecus/strong/p 


	7. Chapter VII - G&G - ii

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongChapter VII/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongGladiators and Galactic Empires - ii/strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emSome street in sanctuary, 10:34 pm, Saturday/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador caught the Gladiator's arm as she swung her Gladius down, halting its progress./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"At least until Athena kicked the Pandoran in the stomach, sending him stumbling face-first into a wall./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Damn it!" He called in English as his foot slipped on a bottle, causing him to tumble to the ground./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He looked up, and then rolled away from the blade on a direct course to his horribly, mangled, scarred, battle marred face that he had had since he was a child./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The blade buried it's self in the ground beside him, its owner struggling to pull it free./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador scrambled to his feet, snatching one of his rifles at the ground./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Before he could take aim, it was kicked from his hand by the Hooded Woman as she pulled free her sword./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I could use some help here, emamigos/em!" He called out to his companions./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 dashed forward, as though he had been waiting for orders, his blade temporarily meeting resistance before it cut through Athena's personal shield, leaving a gash in her left arm./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Damn!" She called, swinging her shield at the Assassin, which disappeared in a flurry of blue holographic pixels./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She spun, ducking away from the energy-filled fist of Maya, whom hoisted her emHellfire, /emraining a hail of bullets on the Gladiator's personal shield./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Hooded Woman turned, kicking away the Siren before leaping backwards out of the cluster of punishment./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Not bad." She commented, examining the gash in her arm as her shields recharged. "You trained them, Zer0?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin froze, before a dry hissing noise emanated from his helmet./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"It eventually grew into full blown laughter, an unusual experience for the Assassin./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emN-no." /emHe gasped for air. em"I didn't train them! / These are my disposable / minions. You've gone soft!" /emHe barely managed to get the words out before he burst out laughing again./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena, Maya, and Salvador all simultaneously glared at him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 continued laughing, falling to his knees and clutching at his stomach. em"Trained!" /emHe shouted, and erupted into laughter once more./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya examined her gun as Athena folded her arms, Salvador continuing to give Zer0 dirty looks as he continued the fit of laughter./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emAlright." /emThe Assassin finally said as he rose to his feet, still giggling. em"I'm done."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""So how do you two know each other?" Maya asked, looking between the murderous Gladiator and the still-giggling Assassin./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emOh. Uh- well, you see. / We used to work together. / Somehow lost contact." /emZer0 said, sounding sheepish./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena was now glaring daggers at the black-clad warrior. "It happened sometime after a failed assassination attempt, I think." Zer0 seemed to be slowly shrinking. "We ended up stranded on an island. Then, in the middle of the night, Zer0 decided to swim off. I don't even know how the fuck he's still alive. We were at least a hundred miles from shore." The Gladiator had crossed her arms again. "I had to make patterns. With rocks. I was there for a month, on that tiny island."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emYou're not still mad, right?" /emThe Assassin interjected. em"Look! You're right here, you're alive! / No hard feelings, 'kay?"/em He had stuck his hand out for a hand shake./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He suddenly found himself flat on his back, further down the street. Athena had one hell of an arm./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Well then!" Maya said, raising her emHellfire/em. "Back to the "Where's the Idiot" thing. Where is Axton?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Hooded Woman grimaced. "I told you, I gave him to my superiors."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emOh! Well that must suck! / You started hating to take / orders, ever since-" /emThis was followed by a em"Shit!" /emAs Athena threw her shield, a satisfied look on her face as it bounced off of Zer0's head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Shut up Zer0!" Maya called down the street, her eyes never leaving Athena./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emI had my reasons!"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren's eyes narrowed as she starred hard at the Gladiator. No one here was innocent./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena shrugged, looking almost slightly guilty./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I got a job to kill a very skilled Assassin whom had apparently been around for a long time. Too long." The Gladiator shrugged again. "It was an unfortunate first impression."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emAnd a shitty job you did!"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Shut up, Zer0!" Maya called again./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emWhatever." /emHe called back, now apparently playing a game on his ECHO device./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Now, who ARE your superiors?" She said, stepping closer to Athena in case she tried to run. "Talk."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Woman seemed to consider the two that were holding her at gunpoint, before finally speaking./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'm gonna take you to her anyways, so what the hell. Aurelia. That's her name. She hired me to bring you guys in, dead or alive, and I'm going to do just that." Her eyes narrowed, before she spun, bashing into Maya with her shield as she kicked Salvador in the face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Damn!" Maya cried, feeling several of her ribs crack as the shield rammed into her chest, sending her flying backwards as her emHellfire /emsprayed bullets into the sky./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She scrambled backwards as the Gladiator slashed wildly, her blade making several gashes in the street, one of the swings cutting her ankle deeply./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emAlright"/em She thought. em"Wounds assessed. My chest: Hurts like a bitch. My ankle: Hurts like a bitch. Good start."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I've got you, emchica!/em" Salvador called, swinging his rifle at Athena's back./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Gladiator spun, the blow glancing off of her shield as she swung her Gladius in an upwards diagonal arc, a red gash staining his torn, yellow shirt./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0!" She called angrily to the Assassin, whom was still lying in the middle of the street roughly six metres away, occupied by his ECHO device. "Stop playing fucking Bejewled!" She shouted the last word as she made a rude gesture with her hands/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin half sat up, before a frowning face illuminated his visor and he rolled over, climbing clumsily to his feet./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren rolled over, a short gasp escaping her lips as Athena's blade raced towards her face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The blade came to an abrupt stop as Zer0 caught Athena's hand, twisting it in a way that caused her to drop the Gladius./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emThey're disposable. / But I'd like to avoid their deaths. / They work properly." /emHe told the Gladiator, his voice void of emotion as he kicked her away./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena threw her shield at the Assassin, causing him to dodge away as Athena rolled forwards, snatching her Gladius mid-roll and coming up in a combat-ready position./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Is that all?" She asked, something akin to a smirk forming on her face. "Or do you care for your teammates more than you let on?" The smirk died. "Have emyou /emgone soft?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 disappeared, and Athena began looking around in an attempt to spot him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emGone soft? You're joking. / Like I said; expendable. / They just can't die /ememstrongyet./strong/emem" /emThe voice seemed to be coming from everywhere at once./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Hooded Woman swung left instinctively, stumbling slightly as her blade unexpectedly met nothing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Gladiator leapt backwards as Zer0 materialized in a crouch, under the spot where she had swung./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emSomething clouds your thoughts. / Speak your mind, Gladiator. / What is this about?" /emThe Assassin cocked his head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena bit her lip. "She might be alive." Was all she said./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emLiabilities. / That is all emotions are. / That's why you just lost." /emstrong(!)/strongThe Assassin said, dissolving into pixels as the real Zer0 appeared behind Athena, delivering a short jab to her neck./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Gladiator collapsed to the ground, unconsciousness was immediate./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""That was cold, emHermano./em" Salvador stated as he walked over to Maya./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What did she mean? "She might be alive."?" Maya inquired as Salvador helped her up./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emNothing important. / Probably her sister, Jess. / I saw the body." /emThe Assassin said calmly, no emotion in his voice as he slung Athena over his shoulder./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya unclipped the small package from her belt, zipping it open and retrieving an Insta-Health Vial from inside./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""We'll take her back to Headquarters." Maya grunted as she injected herself with the Vial. "See what information we can get from her. Maybe this has something to do with "Jess"."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin shrugged as best as he could with the Hooded Woman on his shoulder. em"Doubtful."/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emCrimson Raider's HQ, 1:17 am, Sunday/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena had regained consciousness exactly fourteen minutes ago, but she had yet to let on. Instead, she observed the person currently on watch from her seated position, the ropes digging into her skin./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin seemed to be thinking about something, assuming he wasn't a robot or something. He was seated a good distance away from her, unmoving. Unmoving as in absolutely stone-still. He didn't even seem to be breathing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emHe probably keeps his breathing controlled to the point of it not being visible. Still assuming he's not a robot." /emAthena had stopped watching the Assassin, instead fully closing her eyes and getting lost in thought. em"I still need to capture them. All four, and she will give me the information I need. I just need to get out of here."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She gave a small gasp of surprise as she realized that her vision was almost completely blocked out by the cold glass faceplate of Zer0./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emYou are awake. Good. / Despite how much you hate me, / You don't kill Hunters." /emThe Assassin observed, sitting back down. em"No. Not since Elpis. / You now respect Vault Hunters. / Is this about Jess?"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena glared at him, saying nothing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emAh, yes. That's it, huh? / You've been offered something. What? / They're willing to help." /emThe Assassin seemed to be excluding himself from his "Disposable" crowd./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emShe's dead, Athena. /Her body was recovered. / Don't die, for her sake."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena remained silent./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emVery well." /emZer0 sighed, standing up. em"I will alert the others." /emHe left the room, leaving Athena to converse with the empty chair./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMore to Come/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong(!) – Just so we're clear, Zer0 only won almost instantly due to A) Three versus One, and B), Something's distracting her. C) A super-secret reason that may or may not ever be revealed./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongI'm really winging it on Athena's personality. I never played Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. I Borderlands-ed myself out on the second game, but I never lost interest in the characters. From what I can gather, she seems to be a serious person. I slightly fucked that up due to this being an attempt at comedy./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongI also can totally imagine her and Zer0 being friendly rivals. I don't know why./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongAlso, if Zer0 seems bipolar, it's kind of intentional? I can imagine him being a sarcastic, cynical asshole one moment and then seemingly almost caring for his teammates the next./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongHe's kind of this way in the game, talking about blood and death and killing, and then joking around and making "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air" references. Not quite right in the head./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThat's enough about everyone's freakishly mutated personalities though./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongYeah, I ended up rewriting half of this chapter, by the by. Because fuck sleep, I guess./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMore to come,/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong-Caecus/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"emstrongWarning, Long ass thing you don't need to read, but probably will out of sheer curiosity./strong/em/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongVault-Pizza – Thanks, that's what I was going for. I'm not sure about ships. I can't write romance for shit. Zer0's gonna be walking a fine line between Human-like and Humanoid-Emotionless-Asshole. As for what he is… Well, that's a secret ;D. It helps to know I've been balancing characters screen-times. Thanks./strong/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongIf it seems Zer0 is getting a bit of favor, it's pure creator bias. I am sorry./strong/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongNever fear, other characters will have their moments!/strong/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongYour review made my day, by the by./strong/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrongFor real this time,/strong/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emstrong-Caecus/strong/em/p 


	8. Chapter VIII - G&G - iii

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongChapter VIII/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongOf Gladiators and Galactic Empires iii/strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"emHQ Basement, 23:09, Sunday/em/span/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren sat silently across from Athena, staring into the Gladiators eyes in a very intense fashion./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I…" The Gladiator spoke up, hesitation in her voice. "I do not understand what you're trying to accomplish?" It sounded like a question./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya's eyes narrowed. "Breaking you."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Oh…" Athena's tone was now very unsure. "O-okay?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The door swung open as Salvador stumbled in, a bottle of alcohol in one hand and a screw-driver in the other./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Okay, emHermanas./em I needed to get emreally /emdrunk to do this." Salvador waltzed over to Athena./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya's eye twitched. "What are you…" She trailed off as the Gunzerker flipped the screwdriver in his hand, brandishing it in a reverse-grip./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Nope." The Siren said, traces of annoyance in her voice as she snatched the screwdriver out of his hand./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador looked upset. "It's been, like, nine hours. The Pandoran way is the only way!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"It had indeed been nine hours. Ten, actually. They had managed to siphon little information out of the Gladiator-prisoner, the most significant of it being that her attempt to deal with the Vault Hunters had been spurred by something to do with Jess./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'm not talking, so perhaps you should just let me go?" The Gladiator suggested un-helpfully, yet rather hopefully./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya snorted. "Sure. Want your weapons back too?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "I could go get them."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena cocked her head. "That was sarcasm. Correct?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren responded with a mere grunt as she exited the room, making sure the screwdriver was still in-hand./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Hey!" Salvador called from behind Maya, the latter not stopping. "That's not even mine! That's Mordecai's!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya frowned. The alcoholic hunter had left with Hammerlock on a trip two days ago. They refused to say where they were going. "Explain to him where it went." She glanced over her shoulder. "When he gets back, that is." She added to ensure Salvador knew nothing escaped her mind-vice./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She walked up the stairs, passing the current guard./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Hey." She greeted the Assassin, whom sat quietly in his chair, polishing his sword. Why he did it was unknown, as it was technically a different sword every time./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emStill no info, huh?" /emZer0 assessed, not looking up from the shiny blade on his lap. em"Time is running out. Quite soon, / Axton could be dead."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya sighed. "I know, Zer0." She folded her arms. "I'm working on it."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 finally looked up. em"Let me take over. / My methods… They get results. / We'd know where he is."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya was unsurprised by the cold, logical path the Assassin had suggested. It was very like him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Maybe we don't need to get anything from her. Aurelia. That's who she said she was working for." Maya turned away, walking over to Tannis' desk. "Maybe we can find information on her."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She typed in the name "Aurelia" and was surprised by what came up./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Says here, she's a 'Baroness'. Aurelia…" She squinted at the screen. "Hammerlock?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 looked up from his sword, an exclamation mark appearing on his visor./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""She's Hammerlock's sister! We can ask Hammerlock where she is!" Maya exclaimed, her face lighting up./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""No go, emAmigo./em" Salvador said, coming up the stairs. "Hammerlock's off somewhere with Mordecai."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya brought up her ECHO, and began searching her contacts for Hammerlock. "I'll just call him."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She pressed Hammerlock's name, and waited for him to pick up./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"After a moment, she reached his voicemail./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emHello! I cannot answer you right now, as I am more than likely shoving my rifle through a Basilisk's digestive track./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emDid you know that a Basilisk has both sex organs? It can literally go f-" /emMaya fumbled with her ECHO before managing to turn it off before anyone could hear anymore "Interesting" facts./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador winced. "Nice."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 sat passively in his chair, apparently finding something interesting on the floor./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Well…" Maya was still frowning. "I mean, she must be famous. Maybe it will be easy to track her down on…" She starred at the name of the planet, pronouncing it in her head before out loud. "Epitah?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A frown illuminated Zer0's visor. em"Epitah? Oh god. / I'm well known on that planet. / Not in a good way."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Unsurprising." Athena's voice trailed up the stairs, and immediately Maya and Zer0's heads snapped towards Salvador./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Pandoran rubbed the back of his head, a nervous smile on his face. "Whoops."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Really," The unseen Gladiator drawled on, "When are you emever /emknown in a good way? Anywhere?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin looked thoughtful. em"Isiri?" /emHe suggested./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""That planet doesn't exist anymore, 'Gramps'." The Gladiator chimed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Ze0 slumped back into his "To Claptrap's place." /emHe announced dejectedly, without explanation./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"emClaptrap's Place, 1:08, Monday/em/span/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""So," Maya began as she stared up at the mangled rails. "You want us to balance on those things, cross an ocean, and arrive safely at our destination; the Shuttle port?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 tore his gaze away from Salvador's extremely fuzzy coat, which had been adorned with Bullymong fur and Skag leather. It also slightly drug across the ground./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emThat sums it up well. / Unless you have learned to fly? / I highly doubt it." /emThe Assassin responded, folding his arms./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya hugged her much more casual coat tightly to her body. "You're an idiot."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You know, we could just fly a Buzzard there, right?" Salvador suggested, his coat the subject of the others gaze./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emIt's impossible. / We would need a lot of fuel. / More than they can hold." /emZer0 scoffed, gesturing to the ocean./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya frowned. "What happened to Claptrap's boat?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"All of the sudden, the ground began to shake violently, sending the Vault Hunters stumbling./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Minions!" A loud annoying voice came from their left, garnering their attention. "I have arrived, with a task for you!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren's frown deepened. "Dear god."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The trio turned to face the boat that had been beached in the snow, the ice surrounding it had spider-webbing cracks that were actively spreading./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A small box-shaped object rolled up to the bow of the ship, two arms spread out like Jesus himself./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""It is I, your true master! Claptrap-imus Maximus!" The robot called, tipping the Captain Hat that adorned his head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Claptrap proceeded to fumble, and drop the hat into the ocean./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Never mind that!" He continued. "All according to plan. Anyways, I have a mission for you, and in turn, I will reward you with a ride to the Shuttle port!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya's eye brow raised as Zer0 kicked at a rock on the ground. It was never that simple./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""It's never that simple!" Salvador voiced the Siren's thoughts, pointing an accusing finger up at the Robot./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Minion!" Claptrap recoiled, hurt. "I would never lie to you!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He then proceeded to list off a large amount of objects he required, as well as someone he needed brought back from the dead./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Fuck it," Maya sighed. "Board the ship."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The three Vault Hunters charged, causing Claptrap to shriek and flee beneath the deck./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"emUnknown Location, 2:03, Monday/em/span/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You WILL train them." She commanded, her face masked by the deep shadows of the room./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""So that you can invade Pandora?" Axton spit a mixture of Saliva and Blood towards the figure, frowning as it fell short. "Hell no."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Hit him."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He grunted as a fist slammed into the left side of his face, knocking a tooth loose./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""It is improper to spit in front of a lady. Almost as improper as bleeding in front of one." The Woman scolded, her hand twitching above her gun./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton simply sighed. emPsychotic Bi-/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"emMore to Come/em/span/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongI barely got this done in time, hence the description being changed. It is also the reason that this one is so short. Sorry about that./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongIt is literally 9:06, Friday./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongOh, I'm also taking to uploading late Friday night instead of early Saturday morning. I'm a bit of a night owl. (And Lazy)/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThat's all I got. Until next time,/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMore to Come/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong-Caecus/strong/p 


	9. Chapter IX - G&G - iv

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongChapter IX/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongOf Gladiators and Galactic Empires iv/strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emEpitah Shuttleport (Exterior), 6:14/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya shivered in the cold as she walked hurriedly down the steps, brushing past the pedestrians that littered the stairs, streets, and anywhere where there wasn't a sign that said "Trespassers Will Be Shot"./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Everyone steered clear of the signs that read "Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted" Like the plague./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She, Salvador, and Zer0 had quickly made plans to meet up somewhere further away after they had noticed the heavily armed guards that wore the logos of a private military company, separating them from the police. They were managing to blend in surprisingly well, despite the bulky armor and light glowing blue trim that made them look like characters from a game made in 1982. Oh how Maya loved history./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"From what she could gather, the capital of Epitah, known as emFulgdenea /emstrong(!)/strong, was an urban metropolis that spanned for miles and miles outwards./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya stood on her tippy-toes, trying to spot her friends./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She immediately spotted Zer0, and gave a frown that would depress the general population of clowns./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin appeared to be crouching low in an attempt to seem shorter, a wide brimmed brown hat sat comfortably on his head, flopping down to produce shadows that concealed his helmet./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A coat made from hopefully animal leather had completely hidden his less than casual sneaking suit, giving him the appearance of a child molester, or a male prostitute./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"'emSo much for blending in.' /emMaya thought with distaste as she watched him do his weird crouch-walk-thing until he disappeared into an alleyway./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The next person she spotted was of course Salvador, whom was already in the middle of a brawl./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"His vulgar vocabulary could be heard from where Maya was standing, despite the Pandoran being a considerable distance away./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Tearing her gaze away from her less-than-subtle companions, the Siren gently pushed her way through the crowds of people, heading directly towards the meet-up point./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emIdiots./em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emFriendship Inn of Friendship (Exterior), 6:59.72/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya folded her arms as she faced the other two Vault Hunters./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador had a couple of bruises lining his arms and face, as well as bleeding knuckles. Not to mention the wide grin on his face as he took a sip from the flask that hung from his neck. Where he had gotten it from was a mystery./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 had crossed his arms and was leaning against the railing of the stairs that led up to the magenta double doors, attempting to look casual and inconspicuous. Both of which he was failing at./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren sighed. "You're both idiots."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 looked as offended as a man who could barely display any emotion before he was wrapped in leather could look./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emIt's called a disguise. / How do you fail to see the / genius behind it?" /emHe asked, pulling off the floppy hat for the sole purpose of flashing a frowny emoticon./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Upon replacing the hat, the Assassin turned to look up at the double doors, his body tensing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Well!" Maya began. "We should go and rent a room."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador proved to be trouble getting up the large flight of stairs, as he constantly stopped for a drink./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Upon reaching the doors, Zer0 was practically a trembling mess, which was odd as he was the one to reveal the places existence, albeit unwillingly./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya spared her friends odd behavior a glance before pushing open the doors./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She was really not prepared for what she was met with./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emUNKNOWN LOCATION, 7:00/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton sat in the room, a bottle of alcohol in hand as he played cards with his new drinking buddies./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The beard he had begun to grow over what felt like weeks of captivity had been shaved, leaving only slight whiskers behind./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Technically, he was still in captivity, and his drinking buddies were his armed guards, but that was beside the point./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He didn't have to pay for alcohol, they shared the same tastes in music, and he was emreally /emgood at cards, so assuming he ever escaped, he would be a rich man./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He was legitimately "Living The Life"./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"But oh what a short life it would be./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emFriendship Inn of Friendship (Interior), 7:01/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya's eyes widened as she surveyed the scene before her, its general atmosphere reminding her of a horror book she had once read when she was younger./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Several robots were scattered across the Hawaiian themed hotel, some wearing unnecessary coconut bras, all wearing grass skirts. It was a rather disturbing image, and now it's in your head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Three of the robots – Red, Purple, and Blue - rushed to meet her and her friends immediately, Purple removing Zer0's coat and hat as the Blue one bandaged Salvador's knuckles./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0!" The Red one exclaimed, the weird claws that sat on the end of its humanoid arms clicking open and closed. "It is good – good to see you ag-" The robot's voice cut to static as its eyes stopped following Zer0, instead opting to stare into blank space./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya squinted at the robot, her eyes briefly meeting Salvador's as they examined the trio before them./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""-ain. It is good to see you again." The robot finished, looking back to Zer0. "I think to celebrate, we should host a musical~!" It announced, pulling a Ukulele instrument from seemingly nowhere./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya frowned./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I really don't think that's necessary-" She began, raising her arms in protest./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emIn the mountains, the mighty mountains, the Yeti sleeps tonight~"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"At this point, the Blue one had pulled out a set of Bongos as the Purple wielded a flute./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emIn the mountains, the badass mountains, the Yeti sleeps tonight~"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They broke off once again into instrumental music, as well as humming that sounded like something Claptrap would sing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya had begun to back away, towards the door, when she felt her back run into something./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Turning around, she found herself face to face with another robot barring the exit./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emNear the city, the pollution-generating city,/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe Yeti sleeps tonight."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya tried to push past the robot, grunting in frustration as it refused to move./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emNear the city, the shitty city,/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe Yeti sleeps tonight."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Looking around, the Siren noticed her friends also vainly attempting to leave./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"'emGood. They're crazy. Great.'/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emUNKNOWN LOCATION, 7:06.9/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton took a deep drink, wondering for a second how his friends were doing, or rather what they were doing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Commando snorted. em'Probably drinking at the bar. Without me.'/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"His eyes began to well up with drunken tears./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Oi," One of the guards said, patting Axton on the shoulder. "I'm sure they're coming for you. Of course they're going to be gunned down in their rescue attempt, but they're coming."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"This seemed to have an oddly calming effect on the Ex-Dahl./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"'emDamnit! Why?! Salvador, my alcoholic friend! I'm coming, and I'm ridiculously drunk!"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And with that thought, Axton began his retaliation./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emFriendship Inn of Friendship (Interior), 7:06.14/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emHush my darling, don't fear my darling./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe Yeti sleeps tonight~"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"At this point, the robots had forced some sort of flower necklace onto all three of the Vault Hunters, who were still kicking and struggling to break free./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"All of the robots had crowded around them, creating a deafening chorus that seemed to be making the chandelier rattle and shake. It would be unsurprising if it fell on someone./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emHush my darling, don't fear my darling./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe Yeti sl-"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"All of the robots went silent as a gunshot rang out, the robot closest to Zer0 stumbling back with sparks flying from the neat bullet hole in between its square eyes./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Love… The world, guys…" It said its last words before collapsing into a heap on the grouns./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emI hate musicals." /emGrunted the Assassin./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And so forth, all hell broke loose in the Friendship Inn of Friendship./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMore To Come/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong(!) – Fulg De Nea/strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongWell. I finally got off my ass and did something./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongHowever, I did it at 1:00 pm, so sorry about any parts not making sense or being generally bad./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongI'm sorry for such a long break. It won't be the last, but I hope the others will be shorter. I got caught up in school stuff, and had a birthday, and got a chance to play Bloodborne (Goodgame)./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongOh, and I'm sick./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongSo yeah, I hope to get the next chapter out by next week, but I might be tied up. Me and my friend are working on my car right now./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongAll in all, busy month, hope to write soon./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongNow, enough about my irrelevant life and piss-poor excuses,/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMore to come,/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong-Caecus/strong/p 


	10. Chapter X - Of G&G v

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongChapter X/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongOf Gladiators and Galactic Empires v/strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emUnknown Alleyway, 21:03/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya sprinted through the alleyway, breathing heavily as she ducked behind a dumpster./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Damnit." She cursed as several men ran past her, absolutely neglecting to look back like a bunch of simpletons./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""How did I get into this mess?" The Siren sighed./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emFlashback, brought to you by TOURGE!/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emFriendship Bar Of Friendship, 7:11, (Previously)/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe Vault Hunters burst out of the building, the dark streets illuminated by flashing red and blue lights./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMaya was blinded as she tried to cover her eyes, squinting at the helicopter above./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emIt was a robot!" Zer0 protested his innocence as he surveyed the police cars that lined the block./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emstrongFreeze!" /strong/ememThe entirety of the police that had gathered had drawn their guns, and now pointed them at the trio. It was like being famous, but not at all./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emWhat do we do now, amigos?" Salvador whispered out of the corner of his mouth as he slowly raised his hands./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emWell," Maya whispered back, "I think we should-"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emShe was cut off by a loud /ememstrong"SHIT!" /strong/ememas Zer0 disappeared, the familiar hexagons lining his suit before he turned invisible./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emRun." The Siren finished, opening her raised hands./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe Phase-bubble engulfed one of the police cars, catching everyone's attention as it flung itself into the large neon sign above their heads./em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emStill sponsored by TOURGE!/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emUnknown Alleyway, 21:03/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya frowned. "Oh yeah. Right."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Her frown grew as she drew mental lines in her head, on a mental whiteboard with non-mentally-toxic markers. All back to the source of her problems./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0, you dick."/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emRandom Parking lot, 21:05/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 punched the mercenary in the face once again, flexing his knuckles as he stared at the downed man./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The cyan lines that lined his suit had begun to flicker under the onslaught, the man's face now resembling more of a...?/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emWrong answer, halfwit. / Who hired you? The Baron?/emem/ Where is my challenge?" /emThe man had done his best to crawl away from the menace, the crimson smiley face that had begun to grow on his tormentors face did nothing to sooth his nerves./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I already told you!" The man's voice trembled with his lip. "I don't know!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin's head cocked to the side, the smiley face disappearing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emWe've been over this." /emHe drawled, unsheathing one of his kunai. em"That's not what I want to hear. / A short life you lived."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0!" A hissed whisper caught the rampaging Zer0's attention./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador stood behind him in the empty parking lot, his arms folded as his blue hair ruffled in the wind./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What the hell's wrong with you, emIdiota sanguinario?/em Has your boredom caught up to you?" The Gunzerker said in a disapproving manner. "A little bit of torture never hurt anyone, but once you learn that he knows nothing, you break his legs and move on!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin twitched./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emRight." /emHe said dryly./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador waved to his taller friend in a way that said em'follow'/em. No questions./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Random Hotel Yo, 21:23/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya climbed the final set of stairs, finally arriving at the roof of the large apartment complex./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She let out a breath of disappointment as she found that the door was locked./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren glanced behind herself, making sure that no one was on the stairwell she had just climbed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Alright." She said as she pulled off her gloves and rubbed her hands together. "All clear. Now let the Siren show… Commence." She felt the familiar energy run through her arms as she placed her hands on the door, smiling as the balls of energy formed just beyond them, in the door itself./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She gave a pull as well as a small laugh as a hole was torn in the metal door that hindered her progress./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"From there it was the simple matter of removing the lock from the door itself, and giving it a gentle push open./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Not too subtle." The Siren commented on her own handiwork as she nodded her head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She stepped forwards, the light snow that blanketed the dimly lit roof shifted ever so slightly in the winds./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya stepped up to the edge of the roof, standing on the trim thing that people never talk about due to the fact that no one truly knows what it's called, and don't want to risk looking dumb./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Now I just need to find those… two… idiots…" The Siren's monologue came to a slow stop as she stared at the airshow of helicopters that had surrounded a hotel a decent distance away, the words emNews /emand emPolice /emalike, as well as several unmarked helicopters./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya did what she thought Zer0 would do in this situation./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She laid down and began to take a nap. Suckers./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emRandom Hotel #2 Roof, 22:16/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Well." Salvador said, his coat billowing in the wind as he stared at the circling helicopters above./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 stood beside him, his arms folded and his head angled down in what might have been shame, had it been any other person. em"It is safe to say / The Siren is not up here. / My tracking skills failed."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador sighed. "Today's been one big emtormenta de mierda./em"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 glanced at one of the news helicopters that had flown rather close. em"Está bien." /emWas all he said as he drew his sword./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I don't see any way out of this, emamigo./em" Salvador said, pulling two guns from beneath his coat. "This is our last " /emSalvador had begun to smile./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 looked over to the grin that had spread across the Gunzerkers face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emDon't do it." /emHe dead-panned./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Smile widened./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emDon't you do it."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emHasta La Vista, baby!" /emThe Gunzerker began to twirl as he fired his automatic pistols, bullets bouncing off of News helicopters and Police helicopters alike./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Suddenly, he found himself suspended in purple light./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I got up from my nap for this?" A grouchy Maya asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and did a cat-like stretch. "Watch it. You shoot a civilian, you become nothing but a bandit."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador was dropped from his bubble as he began reloading his guns, landing on his feet in a stumble and sending empty and full magazines everywhere./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Right, right." The Gunzerker grumbled. "I meant no harm, emchica/em."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya patted the Pandoran on the shoulder. He wasn't one to hurt innocents. He must just be tired. They all were, what with being chased by mercenaries, cops, and hawaiian robots. All they needed was Claptrap to show up, and it would be a frozen over hell disguised as winter wonderland./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""As for you." She frowned as she turned to Zer0. "You're a dick."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A hurt expression appeared on his visor, before switching to a "8===D"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya allowed herself a small smile at the Assassin's immaturity, and for a split second, she wondered if in actuality, he was just playing them all. No one can be THAT immature without giving a single piece of information about themselves away, right?/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""We need a way off of this roof. Any ideas? The cops had gathered at the stairs, and I needed to do a bit of… emconvincing /emto get by them." The Siren remembered all too well the expressions on the police forces faces after she threw one of their own through a wall. Good times./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Suddenly, like a favor from Satan, their escape appeared like a giant, floating zeppelin flying through the sky./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Except that was what it was./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The large blimp floated towards them, the spotlights suddenly focusing on the new arrival as it drifted ever closer. And at the bow was…/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Minions!" called a voice. "Come with me if you want to leave!"/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emUNKNOWN LOCATION, 7:07, (Previously)/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton slammed the guard's head into the table before flinging his hand of cards into the face of the guard across from him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He quickly lashed out with a foot under the table, catching the guard to his left in a cruel spot before flipping the table onto the stunned guard across from him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The bathroom door slammed open as the armed guard stumbled out, his pants down as he fumbled with his rifle./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton dolphin-dived out of his chair, bringing his cuffed hands down on the guard's neck and pinning him to the ground./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The gun slid across the ground as Axton uncuffed himself, a smile on his face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"'emShit. That actually worked.'/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He un-shackled his ankles before lumbering over to the rifle and picked it up, holding the butt tight to his grey shirt as he aimed at the door./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Go go go." The Commando said with a cheeky grin on his face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMore To Come/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMy Computer died. I'm running out of excuses, sorry for being late again again./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMore To Come,/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong-Caecus/strong/p 


	11. Vault XI - A Glass Castle

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"Vault XI/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"A Glass Palace/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"Of GG vi/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya and Salvador carried a protesting Claptrap across the balcony that served as an outdoor restaurant, the lift-ee shrieking and protesting all the way as customers and diners stopped eating to watch the two Vault Hunters carry the robot./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Mutiny! What did I say about mutiny?! I said no mutiny!" Claptrap shrieked as they carried him over to the railing, an amused Zer0 tailing behind them./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""We stopped obeying that rule sometime around your twentieth Karaoke song. No more!" Maya grunted as she struggled under the weight of the box. He was heavy, and that's why they had used a lift in the past./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The quadro had just come from the indoor Karaoke bar. Claptrap, whom apparently was the owner of the ship, had deemed himself the star of the show and was not letting anyone else have a turn. While Maya personally was fine with this, her okayness had been shot twenty three times in the chest when Claptrap's singing proved to sound exactly like his screams of terror. Not cool./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Okay, minion! The joke's gone on long enough…" Claptrap tried to reason as they neared the edge. "This is dangerous!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya gave a breathless laugh. "That's the idea! Let's see if you can come back from this one, you immortal annoyance!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0, meanwhile, folded his arms./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emYou both realize that / We may be killed for treason? / He's the captain. Ugh."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador sighed. "Zer0, if we are killed for ending this war, we will die with smiles on our faces, and in the name of the new world!" He laughed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Minions!" They were at the railing now. "Minions, wai- AIGH!" Claptrap gave a final scream before he was thrown over the railing, his cry becoming distant./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0, Maya, and Salvador all stared over the railing, watching the shrinking speck disappear./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They were all silent for a moment, and it was nice./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emYou know he'll come back-"/em Zer0 began./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""-Yes." Maya interrupted him. "Yes, I know." Maya sighed. "Let's just- Enjoy it. While it lasts."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They all silently agreed, for a moment like this; there was no sound. Just the joy in their hearts./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton imitated his turret as he gunned down his attackers, even making the little 'Vroo'-ing noises as he adjusted aim./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"It was only now that he wondered how his girl was doing, and whether or not she was lonely. Was she being well kept, or had she been thrown out? Had she been violated?/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"This thought spurred on more violence as he pushed through the halls of the enormous castle./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He ducked away from a wall of gunfire, opting to hide behind an overturned table as he reloaded. Ammo wasn't a problem, as he found that whenever a gun stopped shooting, he could just loot one off of one of the many bodies lying around./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He suddenly realized that he had been humming a christmas tune ever since he had escaped from the basement./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Huh." He whispered to himself as he reloaded, the bullet-casing between his teeth quivering. "I wonder if there are any 'Mercenary Day' like holidays here?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Suddenly, a stream of bullet crashed into the table, several passing through the wood and spewing out beside him in a torrent of death./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Hey!" The Commando shouted, rising and returning fire over the table "This is mahogany you shit-heads!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And then he came face to face with the scariest fucking thing he had ever seen./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 calmly turned another page in his book, wondering what the others were doing with their time free from Claptrap and explosions./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A thought flashed through his head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emOh dear god. Please, no. / Salvador, you better not / be eating someone."/em The Assassin hissed as he sat up, setting his book aside./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He got up into a crouch, gliding across the boxes of the storage room and dropping down onto the ground./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He made for the door./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Suddenly, the steel swung open and he crashed head-first into-/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Gah! Damnit!" Maya cried as she fell backwards, attempting to recover and only succeeding in flopping around on the ground. "Fricken ninjas!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emSiren." /emZer0 acknowledged calmly as he rubbed the bit of visor that covered his chin, the area where the Siren's forehead had impacted. em"What's the rush?/ Is the Gunzerker feeding? / He is, isn't he?"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya climbed to her feet, massaging her forehead./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""No," She shivered. Now she wasn't sure. "I came to tell you that we're at the castle."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 cocked his head. em"Castle? Is it big? / Nevermind, doesn't matter. / Do we have a plan?"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya nodded as she and Zer0 made their way down the halls of the Zeppelin, towards where the Siren had come from. "We, as in me and Salvador, are going to slip in through the front."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 froze, mid step./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya stopped as well, turning to look back at Zer0, confused./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She stared at the frozen Zer0 for a while, before the Assassin finally spoke:/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emThat's the best you've got? / Then I, the last survivor / Goes in and gets him?"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya sighed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""No, We're going to dress up all formally and fake our way through the front gate. There's a party." She continued, ignoring Zer0's "tsks" about it being 'Cliche'./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emFine. What do I do?"/em Zer0 agreed. em"What's my part? What do I kill? / I've got a suit, tell."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya folded her arms as they passed through the last entry-way, ending up back on the balcony./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Castle that sat on the snowy hill below was huge. The lights were on everywhere, including on the vehicles that were driving through the large gate./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Well, Zer0. You're going to sneak in, and find Axton. From there, Sal and I are going to regroup with you, and we'll shoot our way to Axton's freedom." The Siren finished, a sparkle in her eye as she recapped her marvelous plan./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""It reminds me of home." A voice from behind them cut off whatever Zer0 might have said, probably insults. " But the people here are 'Educated'. Blah."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 turned, and let out a muffled em"Hark!"/em./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"His cause for alarm was Salvador. Or more specifically, the shredded suit that hung off of the Pandoran's figure./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The suit's legs had been cut at the ankles as to not drag across the ground. The same had been done with the arms, and the jacket was stretched across the Gunzerker's chest, but hung around his thighs vertically./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador frowned as Zer0's shoulders began to shake./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Didn't have any / Clothes in your size, Gunzerker? / Short-term solution."/em Zer0 laughed, folding his arms./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador's frown deepened./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Bad joke, go back to Mexican prison."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 stood stock still, his shoulders once shaking now frozen./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Monopolio."/em The Assassin whispered darkly./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The tension could be cut with the edge of a hat piece./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Haa...Ha..." Maya laughed nervously. "So, Sal... Why does it remind you of Pandora?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador looked over to Maya, Mexican prison forgotten./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""The..." The Gunzerker paused and rubbed his chin./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I dunno. Something in the air."/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""TOOOOUUUURRRRGGGGEEE!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The man by the same name smashed through the enemy line in a devastating shoulder charge, sending the guards into walls, a piano, and across the large dining tables that been set with an obviously large amount of care./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton watched as Mister Tourge smashed his arm into a guard that had turned to flee, obviously from the explosively badass aura that the man radiated./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""VAULT HUNTER! I HAVE COMPLETELY DISREGARDED MY ADVISOR'S ADVICE, AND ABANDONED MY POST AT TOURGE INDUSTRIES TO COME RESCUE YOU! I FEEL F**KING AWESOME!" Tourge shouted as he grabbed one of the scrambling guards and broke his back over his knee./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"It was not the first time had left Pandora. He usually just returned whenever, and immediately got his job back. The first time they had refused had taught the new owner why Tourges led Tourge. Many bodies, many explosions./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton grinned. He was saved!/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'LL BLOW YOU AWAY!" Tourge roared with laughter, and slammed his fist into the ground with explosive force./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emI'm fu-/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Alright, Sal. Play it cool." Maya whispered to her partner, picking at the strap of her blue gown./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador laughed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'm always cool! I have my ammunition in one pocket, and my gun in it's hol-" He was shut up by a sharp yet difficultly executed kick by Maya as she looked around worriedly at the crowd around them, noting the whispering that had broken about./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""H- He was joking. He was joking. About the gun." She called out nervously, rubbing at her itchy arm. She had run over her tattoos in black ink, giving them the appearance of ordinary tribal tattoos./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"It had worked for the most part. She still got some odd stares, but nowhere near the amount she would have gotten had they been the previous telltale sign of a Siren./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She had not gone over the ones on her back or... front. She was using a disguise, not creating a new life. No need to go that under cover. This was the exact reason that she had used a permanent marker instead of a needle./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0, status?" She whispered, touching the holographic earpiece that was being emitted by her echo./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Status unconfirmed. / Delicate operation. / I'm undetected."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya frowned. What?/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0? Are you-"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"I'm not lost."/em The Assassin interrupted, cutting her off./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""How did you get lost?!" The Siren hissed. "You have the blueprints!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She received a couple moments of silence as she split from Salvador, circling around the fountain and towards one of the two large open gates. The entire castle exterior was constructed of a blue ice-like stone. The only thing that kept Maya from getting a headache was the large carpets and trim that decorated it, removing the once repeated strain on her eyes./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She suddenly blinked as her line of thought was interrupted by a missed, short reply./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What?" She asked, moving past the white lights that lined the arch./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Vents."/em Zer0 repeated./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What about them? I wasn't listening. Sorry?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She heard a deep sights from the other end./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"I said I am stuck. / Stuck inside the vents, okay? / Laugh and you will die."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya heard a loud laugh from the other door as she passed through the arch, entering the main hall. Salvador no doubt./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0! How did you screw up this badly? You used to be a professional at this kind of thing!" Maya whispered in a rush./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She instantly felt a cold presence at her ear, and immediately regretted the use of the word 'Used'./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Security beams. / Cloak would have distorted light. / Had to slip through vents."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya waited for him to continue./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Outer disturbance. / Roof has collapsed on my legs. / Proceed with caution."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya blinked. Outer disturbance?/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""That's fucked up, amigo. What caved in the vents?" Salvador scolded over the echo./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Why the hell do you sound alright with this?" Maya demanded. "And what do you mean by 'Outer disturbance'?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"I do not fear death. / Die completing the contract. / Code we were trained by..."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya frowned. Zer0 had begun to sound weak. "So... are you going to tell us what you are before you die?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"...No..."/em The Assassin wheezed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Dick." Maya sighed. She pushed through the crowd gently, retrieving a piece of cake from the table. Avoiding conversations with other party-goers was her best bet, as there had not been many parties that the brothers had let her attend. "If you die, who gets your stuff? I mean, if you die."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She received an unexpected response./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Burn it."/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 had begun wheezing as the air in his helmet expired. It could only hold so much, and the intake vents on his helmet had been forced shut when the walling of the vent beside his head had been caved inwards, smashing into the side of his helmet. The only thing keeping him from death by asphyxiation were the filters in his helmet, making the air inside stale and horrible, but breathable. A handicap./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 sighed as he stared out the other side of the vent, through the vent cover./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He held his only free hand in front of him, allowing his echo HUD to appear in front of his head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He pondered whether or not he should call in a favor from her. This was not exactly an ideal situation, very embarrassing. The Siren girl was of no help, no doubt awkwardly moving about the party, not talking to anyone./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Pandoran was out of the question./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He glared at the question mark icon on his echo./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He pressed the button./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"It's me."/em He began./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya wasn't sorry. The bastard had it coming. She wasn't. Really! Sure, it may not have exactly been Zer0's fault that the vents had caved in and killed him as he attempted to follow her totally awesome plan, but that's simply the way it goes. He knew the risks!/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Shut up!/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She missed that one Skag. The nice one. He was good company./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya shoveled another fork of cake into her mouth, except it looked a lot less gross than I made it sound. Or, the author? Who the fuck is narrating this story?/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren cursed as she tapped her head, where a minor ache had begun to form, no doubt from the crazy thoughts that had begun to take over her mind./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Sal?" Maya asked, holding her fork and plate with one hand while pressing on the holographic earpiece with the other./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Si?"/em The Gunzerker replied, sounding surprisingly sober and Un-bruised./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I haven't thought this out. What the hell do we do?" The Siren questioned, referring to the botched plan./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"You wait."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya jumped, not expecting the Assassin to still be listening./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""O-kay. Until what? Exactly?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"We stick to the plan. / I'll be out of this vent soon. / Victory march. Soon."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The final line of the poem was followed by some creepy, gruff giggling , before the line went silent./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 cut through the last bit of metal pinning his legs, and flipped the off-switch on the plasma-cutter. It was simply the way things were done with 0ne. The cutter was delivered by a tiny, remote controlled robot./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Personally, Zer0 did not see the merit in robotics, wanting as little to do as possible with them./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin kicked off the plates of metal, as well as the concrete debris, and began punching the vent cover./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"After the first three punches, the vent cover caved in, allowing Zer0 to crawl out to freedom./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin holstered the cutter at his side, the small, high-end, construction grade device fitting snugly in his pistol holster./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He brushed off The leathery vest that he wore, the gear patterns that adorned it complimenting the bowtie. All of it was made from the same material as his sneaking suit. Several tears also dotted his legs, revealing the black, inner lining within./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He examined his surroundings, and compared them to the blueprints that were floating in front of him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"After dispelling his momentary confusion, he swiped the blueprints away with a flick of his hand, and watched as they disappeared in a flurry of light that trailed off to the side. He was in the south wing's library, close to the basement./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Siren?"/em Zer0 asked, tilting his head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0?" Maya asked, clearly surprised. "You sound... well."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 frowned. Did the girl really think he would be killed by a vent? Apparently, all of his badass mystery had failed to leave a lasting impression on his subordinates./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Free from confinement. / Advancing on Axton's lo-... / What the hell is that?"/em Zer0 broke off, turning to the pounding sound behind him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The ornate double doors crashed inwards, one flying off of it`s hinges while the other tilted slightly against the wall./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 stared at the destruction behind them, wordless./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Siren, Gunzerker. South wing, library. Now."/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya and Salvador made tracks, like super sneaky yet very loud and visible and obvious but nonetheless sneaky thieves, towards the south wing of the palace./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Their progress was brought to a halt when it was brought to light that the south wing was undergoing maintenance, despite the lack of construction equipment and personnel./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The two guards seemed to be getting annoyed by the duo's presences./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador performed a magnificent flying tackle, wrestling the guard to the ground while Maya's arm lit up, the black ink liquifying and floating through the air, as if in zero gravity, before gathering into a compressed ball./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The guard standing stood, transfixed by the ethereal ink as it broke down into Slag./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Said slag was thrown at speeds faster than human comprehension, and tore a hole in his chest as Salvador broke the downed guard's neck./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador tossed the limp body aside and accepted Maya's hand, standing up./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Can't hold out for long. / Tourge is here, wrecking the place. / Requesting backup."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya lifted her hand, placing it against the earpiece./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""How the hell did Tourge get here? And do you see Axton?" Maya replied, pushing through the swinging double doors after Salvador./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"No."/em The Assassin said./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Wait. Can I change my answer?"/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton rolled out of the way of a flying table, clutching his rifle as he came up on a knee, gunning down an approaching guard with impressive tracking./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Tourge!" Axton shouted, looking over his shoulder. "You're gonna bring the..." Axton trailed off as he watched the cracks travel across the ground, crossing the Marble floor and climbing the ice-like pillars./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Too late..."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton dove forwards, narrowly avoiding being crushed by a silver arch./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Commando came up in a roll, and threw himself to the side, dodging a flying chair./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Tourge, whom seemed fairly undisturbed by the collapsing wing, continued to kick around the guards, accidentally and intentionally flinging pieces of furniture around as weapons and collateral damage./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton suddenly lost his balance, stumbling backwards as the ground beneath him began to tilting, the checkered tiles cracking and crunching as it began to lean towards the lowest part of the castle, what Axton would later learn to be the Cliffside./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Ex-Dahl scrambled across the steepening surface, tossing the rifle aside as he made a desperate leap, a trace of a grin still on his face as he grabbed one of the large shelves secured to the ground, and started to climb upwards./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Alright." He muttered as he climbed, occasionally kicking books and watching as they slid across the floor and disappeared through the huge, shattered window at the bottom. "Wing is collapsing. Death quite possible. Awesome."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""F**K YEAH!" Tourge suddenly made another appearance, grabbing Axton, flinging him over his shoulder, and speeding up the wall by making his own handholds with the strength of his fingers. "THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD SINCE THE F**CKING CRATER!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Holy SHIT!" Axton shouted over Tourge's 'YEEEEHAAAW!' As he nearly fell off of the man's shoulder./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton jumped slightly as Zer0 seemed to materialize on Tourge's other shoulder./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0!" Axton greeted rather loudly, barely heard over Tourge's battlecry./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin nodded. em"Commando. We're here. / Come to free you from your chains. / A pain in the ass."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton, whom at this point had climbed into a sitting position, gestured to the collapsing building around them. "Was this part of the plan? Where are the others?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 seemed to not be listening to him, instead having his head tilted as though hearing voices in his head./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"The wing's collapsing. / A soundproofing barrier? / Doesn't matter now."/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Right." Maya agreed. " The collapsing building will draw attention, probably from the police."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""We don't want to be here when they are." Salvador suggested, straightening his cuffs./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya sighed. "Best plan ever, gone to hell. Tell Tourge to head for the library. That's where we are."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Unfinished business."/em The Assassin declined. em"We must kill Aurelia. / And end the conflict."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya sighed once more. The Assassin was right, of course. To prevent someone possibly more dangerous than Athena from being sent after them again, they would have to find Aurelia,/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And finish the job./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"More to Come./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongTo start, I am sorry for being ridiculously late. The lame computer got so shitty, I couldn't even write on it. Sure, I got a bit distracted by my other story, but that's not the point./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongI wrote three quarters of this chapter on my phone while on vacation, and I should already be working on another one before this chapter even comes out, promise!/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongA bit of news, episode three of Tales from the Borderlands is out, and I realize how badly I fucked up Athena's character. I'll redeem myself, hopefully. Also, I'll make her cooler./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongOh, and assuming the chapter was not uploaded in two parts, I've got this for you!/strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emSome Time A Year Ago/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"L~M~S/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emAxton (Thimble) was biting his nails as he and Maya (RaceCar) watched the final Monopolian showdown between Zer0 (Hat) and Salvador (Shoe). The game had been going on non-stop for three and three quarters of a day now, with Axton having gone bankrupt first on the first day, while Maya went bankrupt in the third and a half day./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe problem two and a half of the Vault Hunters were having was that the game had been dug out of Salvador's old stuff, and was thus dubbed 'Monopolio'. Everything was in Spanish, so it was quite a miracle that Axton had lasted as long as he had. Maya, having grown up with books, had taught herself a bit of Spanish, and was suspected of receiving minor assistance from an un-named Hunter. (Mordy!). When Axton was questioned as to why the Commando had not asked for help from said Hunter, he had merely responded with 'He doesn't like me.'./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emZer0 had denied giving more of an answer than 'Spanish was easy. / I've been around for a while. / Now out of my way.' End quote./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe Assassin looked like he was about to win, when he was sent to Mexican prison. Due to Zer0 not knowing the proper phrase to pay bail, it took Salvador little time to tear down Zer0's enourmus empire, thus concluding the longest Pandoran game of Monopolio to date. Upon being questioned as to how he felt about being a failiure, it was deducted that he did not feel good due to him immediately decappitating the spare reporter. It was later gathered from Axton that he had stated 'A Hat? Sent to jail? / Statistically unlikely. / This game is stupid.'./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emFin/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThat was possibly the most fun thing I have ever written./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMore to Come,/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong-Caecus The Monopolitician/strong/p 


	12. Vault XII - Navigational Malfunction

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"strongVault XII/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"strongNavigational Malfunction/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"strongOf GG vii/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Alright. Wrong turn? Umm."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The nine guards that surrounded the four Vault Hunters had cocked their rifles, and all nine of them were aimed at our heroes./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Hn. Yup... Highly possible." /emThe Assassin grumbled, seemingly oblivious to the hostile atmosphere as he studied the holographic map in his hands./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya and Salvador had immediately drawn their own weapons, but were still obviously outnumbered./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Freeze, Salvador, Maya, and Zer0." One of the guards ordered, the lights on her futuristic helmet pulsing with the pitch of her voice. "And... You too... Blonde guy. Drop the guns!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton threw his hands up in the air, appalled by the lack of recognition./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Wrong turn. Somewhere... Here?"/em Zer0 continued to mutter, swiping his finger across the map./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'm a bit messed up, here." Axton desperately tried to gain recognition by ruffling his hair and giving a showstopping smile./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Is it a civilian?" A different guard asked, confused./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador looked from Maya's hard expression to the guard that had spoken./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Women." He snorted, lowering his weapon./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya glared at the guard as she also dropped her gun./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Hey. You're Zer0, right?" One of the guards asked, jabbing at the Assassin with his gun. "Hands up. And, uh... Please don't, uh, kill us. I guess."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Grenade." /emZer0 announced boredly as he dropped a cylindrical object from his right hand./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The effect was immediate, with the four Vault Hunters breaking into a sprint, continuing down the corridor as the guards spun, scattering in different directions, some screaming, others also screaming./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0, what was the timer on that grenade? You could've killed us!" Axton exclaimed as he ran./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 glanced over to the Commando. em"Wasn't a grenade. / Empty bottle of breath mints. / We should run faster." /emHe noted calmly, pointing down the hall./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton knitted his eyebrows. "Breath mints? Why... Never mind."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0!" Salvador called, even with his tiny legs managing to surpass Axton. "Do you know where we are going?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"No."/em The Assassin answered confidently, straightening his bowtie. em"Wait, yes."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Five guards suddenly rounded the corner, their guns already cocked./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Why are they heading to the salad bar?" One of them asked, clearly nervous./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""For salad, dumbass," Another answered arrogantly. "It's a Siren thing."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 stopped, a question mark on his visor. em"Wait no."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Give me the map!" Maya cried, fed up with Zer0's terrible navigation skills, and rushed the Assassin, intent on wrestling it from his grip./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton glanced at the battling members of each team./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""So," He gave a care-free laugh. "It's crazy. You guys, and us, meeting in the same place-"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Shut up, Axton." The arrogant one ordered./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Oooh." Axton's smile faded as he recognized the guards. They were the ones from his cell. "It's you guys..." He tried to force a smile, failed. "I love you guys?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Shoot them."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton looked desperately to the only two that had functional abilities. He had his turret, but it was dead./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Unfortunately, those two were battling for control of the map./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Heh. Maya? Could you bust out some Siren moves? Yeah?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren dodged one of Zer0's swipes as she rolled backwards, hissing as she held the map behind her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You heard her, you'd better back off." Axton threatened, a smile on his face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Yeah. Uh... Shoot them. Now. Go." The man ordered./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"As the bullets began to fly, the world lit up.../p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I don't wanna die, Sal!" Axton squealed, clutching the Gunzerker's arm./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Get off of me, idiota." Salvador grumbled, tearing his arm free./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0, meanwhile, swatted at the retreating purple trails of light, holographic map forgotten./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya dropped the now useless map, instead staring at the swirling light around them./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Suddenly, the light intensified before vanishing all together, revealing the four's surroundings; Raider Headquarters, the second floor planning room./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""There you emidiots/em are. Do you know how long I've been LOOKING FOR YOU?!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador and Axton, the closest to the voice, began scrambling away, stumbling into each other and yelping like small children. Or maybe small dogs would be more accurate./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The source of the hostility was Lilith, her face a bright red, and looking very angry. Like, REALLY angry./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren's clothes (An over-sized grey hoodie and a pair of black pajama pants decorated with pictures of Psycho masks. She looked like she just got out of bed, for God's sake.) Were basically fine, aside from the hoodie's sleeve being torn at the elbow, revealing blue tattoos./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Lilith?" Maya squeaked at the now completely red-headed Siren. "Can I just start with 'I had nothi-" She was silenced by a glare./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Sanctuary has been under attack for the past SIX HOURS." Lilith snarled. "Mordecai is gone, Hammerlock is gone, Brick and I are exhausted. emWhere were you?"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton shrugged. "I was taken by the enemy. Looks like they attacked sooner than they had planned." The Commando grinned as he threw an arm around Zer0's shoulder. "My buddies rescued me!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"We're not friends."/em The Assassin clarified./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Lilith frowned, a softer expression than before, as she surveyed the group. "And that involved donning suits and dresses."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She glanced from Zer0 to Maya. "Looking sharp. Bowties are cool."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She made a weird face at Salvador and his thing that looked like a tuxedo, but didn't comment./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Anyways, I'm fricken exhausted. I'll deal with you guys later. Wake me up if they launch another attack on the barrier. They're using some sort of laser. 'night."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The current Vault Hunters watched for the third time as the former Vault Hunter collapsed, her head making a dull thud against the floorboards as her hood sprawled out./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The four stared at the downed Siren./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Ahem. We should, uh, probably move her. To her bunk." Maya coughed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"She looks so peaceful"/em The Assassin protested. em"I vote we leave her. Again. / And she looks heavy." /emA frowning icon appeared on his "Don't tell her I said that."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The other Vault Hunters ignored Zer0's protests, and assisted Lilith to her bunk. Assist as in did all of the work, carrying the tattooed woman to her bunk. She actually wasn't that heavy./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"After the deed was done, Maya scuttled out of the building, no doubt heading back to her apartment to change, as well as retrieve a new weapon. Her emHellfire/em was left in the blimp. Shame./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"After she returned, they gathered four of the many chairs scattered around the building, and assembled around the large table in the mission room./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Alright guys," Axton announced. "I know Maya's been running the show, but now..." The Commando flexed. "It's time for the star to take over!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"All of the Hunters had been re-equipped for the task at hand, though Salvador still wore a bowtie./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They all sat around a map drawn with what appeared to be crayon, spread across the table. Above the map were a bunch of surprisingly detailed drawings./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"In Axton's hand was a pointer stick, of which he slapped down on the first picture: A stick figure with a mess of red crayon on the circle that served as a head. The figure's arm was glowing blue, and directed at four other stick figures, each a different color, with swirling purple markings around them./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Okay, so maybe not that detailed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""This is us," He put the tip on the four. "Being teleported by Lilith." He directed their attention to the lone figure and the purple swirls./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They all stared at Axton, dumbfounded./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""And thenspan style="text-decoration: underline;"strong-AHA!"/strong/span Everyone jumped as Axton brought the pointer down on the second picture: The four were now in action, one with a rifle (Weird box shape.), Another short one with two large machine guns, a third glowing blue, and a fourth with a sword (A black stick layered with a blue one.) There was also a giant turret (Surprisingly realistic looking.)./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""This is the five of us battling to Aurelia."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Cinqo?"/em Salvador inquired. Axton sighed, as though tired of dealing with simpletons. "Me, My Turret, Maya, You, and Zer0. Duh." The Commando explained impatiently. "Keep up, Sal."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Gunzerker leaned back in his chair./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""And this is us beating her!" Axton exclaimed happily, pointing to a drawing of the green figure standing above an ice-blue figure lying down, with X's in it's eyes./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Where are we?" Maya asked incredulously./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton frowned as Zer0 coughed. "I dunno, taking a victory lap, getting victory ice-cream, taking a victorious potty break, who cares man?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"The Siren is down. / The other one, anyways. / No transportation."/em Zer0 commented idly, scribbling something in a weathered, leather-bound book./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton frowned. "I guess we wait for her to wake up."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya arched an eyebrow. "What do we do until then?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A wide smile began to form on the Commando's face, and it only grew as he began to roll backwards in his chair, towards a large box that had been set on one of the tables./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"" Axton..." Salvador said in a warning tone as he himself rolled backwards. Zer0 had begun to lean forwards./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton slowly drew a box out of the box./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Who wants to play Monopolio?" The Commando asked, grinning./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'm going to bed." Maya announced, heading off to one of the guest bunks./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 got out of his chair, symbols flashing across his visor in a mix of emoticons, numbers, and letters./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin turned and disappeared through the doorway of the balcony, vaulting the half-wall and vanishing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador got up. "I'm going away from here. Good luck, emidiota/em" And left like a normal person./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton blinked./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And then shrugged./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Dibs on the Racecar." And began setting the board./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya flailed in her sleep, her mind filled with purple waves./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She shot up, out of her bed, and groaned./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren rolled out of the warm covers and onto the floor./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She had started to have the nightmare, if you could call it that, since she had consumed a certain grape soda. This was about the fiftieth time she had it (She was keeping a dream journal).It was no wonder Zer0 didn't like grape. In retrospect, consuming a label-less grape soda was not the best decision of her time./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya picked herself off the floor and rubbed her eyes./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador ducked under a punch, delivering an uppercut that sent the thug into the wall./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"What happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object?/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Not this./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Bones broke./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The wall didn't./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador wiped the bit of blood that splashed across his face, and picked a tooth out of his beard./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton had called him, and told him to gather Eridium, probably for when Lilith wakes up, but he had taken a minor detour through an alleyway, and was jumped by a thug. The Gunzerker had quickly broken the hand that had grabbed him, and dealt with the man./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The other men and the occasional woman steered clear of him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Emerging from behind Scooter's garage, Salvador took a quick look around before turning and smashing the lock with his elbow. Shoving the rusted door open easily, the vertically challenged man stepped into the garage with a smug look on his face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Their first day on Sanctuary had included scavenging Eridium, so the Pandoran thought he could find more here./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"It was a safe bet.../p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador stared in horror at the hundreds of boxes that covered the garage floor, Scooter napping on an unfinished car./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"...Assuming he had eternity./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 was on the same mission as Salvador, and was still salty about Monopolio./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He had taken the rooftop route to the back of Crazy Earl's place with the intention of breaking in, when he found that three other people were already trying to pick the lock./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He had drug the one at the back around the corner, broken all ten fingers, and killed the other two. Upon disposing of the bodies, he had picked the lock for real, and entered the apartment./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Bottles and cans were scattered throughout the apartment, And a man missing a few fingers was passed out in a rickety chair./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 quickly scouted the apartment, finding a few bits of Eridium. Not a lot, but he was an underachiever when it came to anything that didn't involve breaking fingers./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He also took a shower. He needed to buy his own apartment./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton looked up to see the two Sirens enter the room./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He grinned. "Ah~. You two had a good time?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Lilith glared while Maya frowned./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'm not into girls." Maya informed Axton./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Commando's trap was sprung./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Maybe you'd like to prove it by going ou-"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'm not into guys either. Especially not ones with vaginas." Maya cut him off./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton threw a thimble at her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"More to come./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongHey, done./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongIn all honesty, I've been making it up as I go along, and I'll be happy when this arc ends. This is hard, I keep coming to dead ends./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongAnyways, enjoy this message from our sponsors./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongYou know,/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThe ones I don't have./strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emSome Time Ago/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongTOURGE PASTE/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMister Tourge stood in front of the camera./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emIt was a sunny day, and he had come all of the way down (Up?) to Sanctuary to shoot the commercial for his company's new development; TOURGE PASTE./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"HELLO, MOTHER F**KERS!" Mr. Tourge greeted, and pulled out the second card./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"THE EXPRESSIONS AND OPINIONS OF MR. TOURGE DO NOT DIRECTLY REFLECT THE OPINIONS OF TOURGE INDUSTRIES..."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emTourge furrowed an eyebrow./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"WHAT THE F**K DOES THAT MEAN?!" Mr. Tourge pulled what appeared to be a tube of glue from his pocket./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"NEVER FEAR, FOR THIS IS WHAT TOURGE PASTE WAS CREATED FOR! DO YOUR THING LITTLE GUY!" Tourge squeezed the tube, and a stream of orange paste came out, landing on the card./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emTourge threw the set of cards aside, and both him and the camera man watched as the set of cards exploded in a multitude of colors, leaving a fine gold powder afterwards./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emTourge gave a loud laugh./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"HAHA! F**CK YOUR LEGAL BULLSH*T!" Mr. Tourge roared./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"AND FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS, IT CAN BE USED," Tourge performed an amazingly long and powerful chord. "TO SOUND LIKE ME! I HAVE BROUGHT TWO OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS OVER TO DEMONSTRATE!"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emAxton and Zer0 seemed to magically appear in a storm of golden sparkles and a cheesy twinkle sound./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"ZER0'S NOT MUCH OF A TALKER. AND BOY, DOES THAT GO DOUBLE FOR SINGING! HOLY SH*T!"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emAxton grabbed Zer0's wrist to prevent the Assassin from drawing his sword, or a gun./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"ANYWAYS, LET'S HEAR WHAT AXTON HAS TO SAY." Tourge shouted./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe camera man quickly rotated the camera, zooming in on Axton./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emAxton looked down to his card./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Boy, I used to be the laughing stock, at parties. But then, my friend Zer0, introduced me to TOURGE PASTE. TOURGE PASTE has changed my life in so many ways." Axton said in an unenthusiastic, almost monotonous voice, before flashing a smile that caused his teeth to ping-sparkle. "I have a great girl/boy friend, and everyone likes me. A-lot. Thank you, Tourge Industries."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emThe unusually short camera man (Salvador in a blonde wig and ballcap.) Scrambled to rotate the camera, as in leaping up and swinging from the camera's grip, so that it was centered on the trio again./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"We're not friends." Zer0 commented dryly./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emTourge sniffed with a tear in his eye./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"WASN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL? AND NOW, I WILL DEMONSTRATE THE POWER OF TOURGE PASTE ON ZER0!" Tourge announced./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emZer0 seemed surprised and let out something akin to a mewl as Mr. Tourge grabbed the Assassin by the scruff./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emTourge took some of the paste on his finger, and smeared it on the protesting Zer0's throat./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emInstantly, the Assassin spread his arms and sung a beau/ememtiful chord./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"THAT'S RIGHT. BRINGS A TEAR TO MY EYE." Tourge sniffed. "ORDER NOW, AND GET THE COMPLIMENTARY SPANISH EDITON, FREE! THAT'S RIGHT, MOTHER F**KERS, FREE!"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emTourge pulls out a holographic screen, showing Maya in a sombrero, singing a Mexican folk song in a male Latino voice./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"DIAL NOW, AT ###-###-###-###! IT FIXES, IT WRECKS, IT SINGS, IT IS NOT CAPABLE OF TIME TRAVEL, BADA** MOTHER F**KING TOURGE PASTE!"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emTourge, Zer0, and Axton all disappear in a cheesy explosion effect, before a picture of TOURGE PASTE comes spinning in in front of an orange jagged background reminiscent of the 'POW' signs in old TV-Shows./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emJust in time, as on set, Salvador attempts to swing from the camera grip again, and the device as well as it's tri-pod come crashing down on him, the blonde wig and ballcap falling off of his head as he kicked his tiny legs./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em(Product has been since discontinued due to Mr. Tourge 'F**CK'-ing the legal waver. Again.)/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongWhy won't the site save the Character tags in alphabetical order? Axton, Maya, (Axton's turret), Salvador, Zer0?/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMore to come,/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong-Caecus, The Sponsorless/strong/p 


	13. Vault XIII - Raining On Everyones Parade

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"strongVault VIII/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"strongRaining On Everyone's Parade/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"strongOf GG vii/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""This isn't enough." Lilith said adamantly./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Lilith, this is more than you used to move the city!" Maya protested./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Lilith frowned. "Well, erm... It's your, uh, combined life force, and badassery level. And stuff." The Siren coughed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Bullshit." Axton scoffed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "Face it, you've got a problem, emchika/em."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I do not." Lilith denied smoothly as she pocketed a nugget of Eridium. "I can quit whenever I want."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton arched an eyebrow, but did not comment./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Suddenly, a purple nugget of Eridium flew through the air, nailing the Siren in between the eyes./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Lilith stumbled backwards, snatching the object out of The air./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"It was all I found." /emZer0's form flickered as he appeared in the doorway of the balcony (Terrace?), water dripping from his armor and helmet./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Crazy Earl must eat the stuff. / That can't be healthy."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton sighed. "Listen, Lil." The Commando sauntered over to the woman, throwing an arm over her shoulder. "If you do this for us, you have permission to take me out. On a date."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He waggled an eyebrow./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Lilith squinted at him. "I'll do it if you never touch me again. Ever."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton withdrew his arm, retreating to the other side of the table./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Alright!" Lilith clapped her hands. "Let's head outside!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Siren sprinted to the balcony./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Go forth and conquer." /emZer0 applauded as he stepped aside, allowing Lilith to vault the railing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She vanished over the side, and a moment passed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""SHIT!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"A splash followed the comment, as well as the sound of what could only be the old mailbox in front of the stairs crunching under the Siren's weight./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 gave what sounded suspiciously like a laugh./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Ah... Bring rain coats, okay? And a doctor." Lilith's voice carried up and back over the edge./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"emspan style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Fifteen minutes later, the Vault Hunters were heading to the center of town, dressed in rain gear. Even Zer0 wore a yellow rain hat that sagged slightly over his helmet, as well as a poncho./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Pretty stormy weather, aye?" Salvador commented, hugging his surprisingly snug yellow rain jacket to his body, his blue beard drooping. He seemed to not know how to use the folded umbrella in his hands./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton raced by the Gunzerker, a bright yellow hood attached to his rain coat./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Yeah! Let's go, let's go, let's go already! Move it, people!" He called behind him, waving to his comrades./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Lilith cursed as she stepped in a puddle, water splashing up and splattering across her already wet Skag-slippers. "Slow down, killer. These incredibly comfortable slippers are not meant for such a journey."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya reached the newly constructed fountain that sat in the middle of the city second last (Ahead of Lilith), the water spewing from the miniature model of Sanctuary and running through the streets. An accurate representation of for-reals Sanctuary's current state./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""So, you want me to move you all the way up there?" Lilith asked, snatching the umbrella out of Salvador's hands and opening it./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton stared up at the structure high in the air, his rifle held loosely in one hand./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Yeah." Maya answered for him, folding her arms and wincing at the squeaking sound her own coat made./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I don't know if I can do that. I haven't seen the inside of it." She mused, tracing invisible lines in the sky. "I could put you in the general area, though you might appear in an undesirable place, like a wall."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton's eyes widened./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Or perhaps somewhere in the sky." The Siren continued. "Maybe even-"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"An explosion rocked the city as the air began to crackle above, electric bolts lashing through the air as a series of hexagons ran through the sky, tracing out the invisible force field above Sanctuary./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""The hell was that?" Salvador asked, stepping past Maya and staring into the sky./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"The barrier's down." /emZer0 shifted. em"Make a decision quickly, / For our time runs short."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton cursed. "Why is nobody around to wish us luck, and pass messages on to our families and friends?!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Lilith raised a hand, but was silenced by Axton./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You don't count."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Actually I was just going to insult you and say you have no friends."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton stared at the Siren for a moment before nodding respectfully./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Another explosion rocked the city as a small gas-powered scooter nearby was blown to pieces./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"If we don't hurry, / I'll assist you with passing, / Onto the next life." /emZer0 threatened, unsheathing his blade./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya gasped. "How the hell am I supposed to get to work now?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Worry about it later, stop complaining." Lilith groaned, massaging her temple. "You guys are giving me a headache. Just go fix this."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Wait!" Axton called. "Tell my ex that she had ridiculously low standards!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And with that, the Vault Hunters were suddenly very high up./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"emspan style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Here we are!" Axton exclaimed, before keeling over and losing his lunch./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Axton, not on my shoes!" Maya said, annoyed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I'm sorry, I hate traveling like that." Axton climbed to his feet, wiping at the corner of his mouth./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 meanwhile, had stiffened slightly./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador tossed his rain jacket off into the already growing pile./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Where do you reckon we are?" Axton asked, gesturing in a circle. The room was fairly dark, the only like coming through the large vent fan in the top corner. It was also small, with only one shelf on one side of the room./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 turned, moving towards the deep shadows of the room./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0?" Maya asked, noticing the Assassin's movement./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He "I'm sorry to say, / I will not be joining you. / Time for a fair fight."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin melted into the shadows, the quiet sound of his footsteps becoming nonexistent./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Zer0, wait!" Maya called to the shadows. "We need to stick together!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton tossed off his jacket. "Maya, I appreciate your support, but I'm in charge."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He turned to the shadows. "Zer0, wait. We need to stick together!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Commando sighed. "And he's gone. Not unusual."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Hey, emamigos!/em" Salvador called from a corner of the room. "I found something."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Salvador!" Axton barked. "Stop figuring things out without me! I'm in charge of this operation."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya rolled her eyes as she pushed past the man, towards the Gunzerker./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What you got, Sal?" Maya asked as she approached him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""It's a door. And it's locked." He gave a laugh. "Not for long!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Sal, wait!" Maya caught Salvador's fist. "We don't know what's on the other side. Could be a bunch of armed guards, could be... Something... else. Dangerous."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton bumped the Siren out of the way./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Salvador, knock this door down."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Gunzerker happily obliged, slamming a fist into the door and punching a hole clean through, just above the lock./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"After a bit of jiggling, he managed to unlock the door./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Done. I also do parties!" Salvador chuckled, stepping subtlety away from an angry Maya./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton completely ignored her, stepping by and twisting the door handle and pushing the door open./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Haha, you bitch!" Axton exclaimed, looking from Maya and pointing through the doorway at the blank steel wall./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""The wall's not even shiny enough to give me a bad suntan!" He continued unwisely./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya proceeded to punch the Commando in the face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Okay," Salvador attempted to bring order to the group. A first. "Let's find Aurelia, let's kill Aurelia, and let's get the hell off this ship."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"It was then that Axton noticed something, and latched on to that something like an infant would latch onto the teet of thy's mother. Ew./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Ew." Salvador whispered./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Hm?" Maya asked./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Nothing."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Why, Salvador, my old friend!" Axton exclaimed, slinging an arm around said man's shoulder./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Said man paled./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""It has come to my attention, that it is quite possible, that emyou /emhave a mild fear of flying."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador sighed, too tired to deny it./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""And so," Axton spun an unresisting Salvador around, and kneeled in front of him, hands on his shoulders./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I want to let you know that I will never, EVER let you fall."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador pushed the Commando onto his ass, and followed Maya through the doorway./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Aww, come on!" Axton called after the pair./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""It was funny!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"emspan style="text-decoration: underline;"strongL~M~S/strong/span/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Do you think they'll come?" Aurelia asked the hooded woman beside her as she adjusted the sights on her rifle. "I'm getting bored, Athena."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena nodded, drawing her brand new plasma sword. Her old Gladius had bent when she used it to escape from Sanctuary. She had allowed herself a small face-twitch when she had learned that the former Vault Hunters were unaware of her presence, let alone her captivity./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""They're already here." The newly dubbed Gladiatrix informed.(!)/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Where are you going?" Aurelia asked sharply without looking over./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena disregarded the Baroness, leaping out of her chair beside her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I do not share your interest in Soap operas and Reality TV shows. I'm off to kill them."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Aurelia paused, before nodding./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Record it, and make it entertaining. I do wish to see you dueling the one with the sword, and I'm getting tired of watching reruns. Can you believe they don't have cable on this cesspool of a planet?" The woman sighed, gesturing to her leg, which was in a cast. "I long for the thrill of the hunt. Make them pay for this injury with their lives."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena was taken aback by the Baroness's bloodlust, before shaking it off./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Yes, m'lady." Athena sighed./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She really needed to change the conditions of her contracts./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMore to come,/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"(!) strong- Yeah, I called her a Glad/strongstrongiator, and I /strongemstrongtotally did it on purpose,/strong/emstrong but now she's got a laser sword, so she's an official Gladiatrix. Yeah./strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongHey, as promised, or at least I think I promised, Athena returns. And this time, with a clear head and the will to kill, she'll actually be the badass that fought Brick and Mordecai at the same time, and almost won./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongSo that's cool./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMore to come,/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongBuhbye./strong/p 


	14. Vault XIV - INTRODUCING

p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"strongVault XIV/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"strongINTRODUCING.../strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"strongOf GG number whatever/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 moved silently, his footsteps not making a sound as he stalked through the shadowy corridors of the dropship. The Assassin had briefly wondered why the lights were all out, the only source being the dim strips that lined the corners of the halls, before chalking it all up to a power failure./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He had partially regretted the decision to split from his allies the moment it happened, but was forced to remind himself of the beautiful challenge that awaited him somewhere on the ship, and that they would simply slow him down. No. She was not his ultimate goal, the ticket to his next purpose. She was merely a distraction, much like the men below him used alcohol to distract themselves from their problems./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"However, she was a sufficient distraction. He could not let such an opportunity go to waste. Those who took up the blade were much too rare to be left to their own devices. He had challenged the Hunter to a duel many times before, and was surprised by the level of skill the man wielded his weapon with. But he was just one man. The thing that kept Zer0's interest was variety. Once he had learned the Hunter's style, the Assassin had slowly stopped duelling him, finally quitting altogether with the words em'It's been a pleasure. / An adequate opponent. / But I must move forth."./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The last time he had fought the Gladiatrix, it was different. It was somehow the first time their blades had clashed, and he felt everything. He could practically hear her thoughts, feel her holding back. Needless to say, he was disappointed. But only for a short while./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Moments after contemplating the battle, Zer0 had realized that she was distracted, unfocused, nothing similar to the assassin-in-training he had fought beside what felt to him like short moments ago, though what undoubtedly at least been a decade./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The once untapped potential that he could he just beneath the surface proved himself correct. It had fallen silent, and he guessed it was now hidden behind the mask of the Gladiatrix. It was now time to fight her, one on one./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"emstrongL~M~S/strong/em/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""So," The bound guard tried to reason calmly over what sounded like muffled screaming."If you untie me, and come quietly, you'd..." He seemed to be struggling for words as he literally struggled against the makeshift rope constructed from rain equipment./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Be making me rich... And doing me a huge solid?" He finished weakly, his black and white hair pouring over his forehead, but not hiding the forced grin or the terrified eyes./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""He's been talking nonstop for half an hour, begging for his pitiful life! He's a virgin and..." Axton looked to the man for assistance./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Twenty seven." The man supplied./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Twenty seven!" Axton continued to whine. "And that hairstyle! Can't I just shoot him a little bit?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador lit a cigarette, pocketing the lighter and releasing a puff of smoke as he leaned against the wall, folding his arms./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya, however, had slowly lost her patience over the course of the half hour, her teeth grinding as she failed to smoothly ignore the Commando in the fashion that Salvador did./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I've had to listen to you whine about you pathetic life for the past half an hour." Maya replied dangerously calm, a small and slightly crazed smirk growing ever-so-slightly on her face. "Can I shoot you a little bit?" Axton shrank back as Maya leered over him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I will castrate you with bullets. And magic." The Siren waved the gun threateningly at the blond, much to both the prisoner and the Gunzerker's amusement./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton gulped. "W-what are we even w-waiting for?" He asked, unconsciously shielding the threatened area./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""We're waiting for someone to open this goddamn door, so we can see what has been making that God-awful noise!" Maya growled, gesturing to the sealed door beside her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador let out something between a cough and a choke as his cigar fell from his mouth onto the dark steel below./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""That's what we're waiting for?" He coughed, astonished. "I thought this was a break! That's stupid! Why do we care?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya faltered, and momentarily became lost in thought, before blinking./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""People shouldn't have to live in captivity. Not as slaves, possessions, or tools." She said firmly, and for once, Salvador didn't argue. There was something in her eyes that told him that this was about more than just morals./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Just hurry." Was all he said, before retrieving another cigarette./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya stomped a foot. "I can't. There are no guards with key cards!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Suddenly, the Vault Hunters' captive let out a loud laugh./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The three stared at the restrained guard, partially wondering if they would require a muzzle next./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""A key card!" He laughed. "What are we running this ship on, DDOS? There's a password."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya frowned. "And you know it?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Yeah. It's Password."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya narrowed her eyes. "And you are telling us this because..."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The guard tilted his head, his bangs hooked slightly on his nose./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""We can hear him in the sleeping quarters. The vents in that room are linked to where I sleep. You'd be doing me a favour."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya pointed from Axton to the guard. "Watch him."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Axton groaned as he began digging in his pockets, looking for earplugs no doubt./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya stepped up to the door, her hands on her hips./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Password."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"No response./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Password." Axton called from beside the guard, only to also receive the same silent treatment from the door that Maya did. He was almost as bad with doors as he was with women. Ba-dum-tssh./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Password!" Salvador practically shouted at the door./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Enhance?" The guard suggested halfheartedly as he struggled against his raincoat binds. He was met with a torrent of "Shut up!"'s and "F#ck off."'s./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Maya, losing her barely-there patience, began pounding on the door with her fist. "Open the goddamn door, before they drive me fricken' crazy!" She screamed at the wall on hinges. But it went up. Y'know? Vroom./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"All four of the three Vault Hunters-.../p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"...Wait, can I try that again?/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"All three of the four... Three of the four.../p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"...Salvador, Maya, Axton, and Guard #1 all fell silent as eight eyes stared at the door, before a clicking sound echoed through the hallways. Fog began pouring out of the the room, concealing whatever was inside./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Password Accepted. Have a nice day, and try to be less of a bitch." The speakers above the door announced politely, before being melted by a pissed off Siren./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The three of... Salva... The three Vault Hunters and Guard #1 all stared into the room, mystified. Except for Guard #1, who was beside the door and therefore barely part of the story./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""AIIII!" A shriek pierced the silence, causing the three Vault Hunters to draw their weapons and point them into the doorway./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Unsurprisingly, Claptrap came wheeling out screaming, his arms waving in the air behind him as he rolled past the Vault Hunters, face first into a wall./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He let out a surprised noise, before backing up, turning, and continuing to scream as he wandered off down the hall./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And then actual threat leapt out of the room and started kicking our heroes' asses. Kind of./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"emstrongL~M~S/strong/em/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The large, yet dim, open room was filled with tension as the two Assassins circled each other./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Something's contradicting everything you say." Athena stated, her sword in one hand and shield in the other./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"We're not here to talk. / We are here to settle this. / won't miss Psycho Ball."/em Zer0 muttered, his sword held in two hands in a defensive position./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You talk about the ultimate challenge, and how the others are your minions." Athena continued, obviously not caring about Psycho Ball. One word. Netflix./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin grunted, signalling for the ex-assassin to continue./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Why are you still here?" She asked, glancing at the camera she had set up in the corner of the room. The Baroness's wishes were to be fulfilled at all costs./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 let out a short, almost cut off chuckle./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He tilted his head, a smiley face appearing on his visor./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Trouble follows them. / Through them I have found challenge. / Sideshows, if you will." He said dryly./em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena smirked. "Shouldn't you be out there, looking for the ultimate challenge? Time flies when you're having fun." She ran her plasma sword against her shield, causing a brilliant flare of sparks. "Before you know it, you'll be old and weak."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 suddenly moved, almost faster than Athena could see, forcing the Gladiatrix to dodge away from a powerful swing./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin followed up, and his gliding combo were brought to a halt as his sword clashed against Athena's, sparks flying in each direction./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"I know what you're doing."/em He rasped, his visor half a foot away from Athena's face. It would almost be what they call sexual tension, if Athena weren't homosexual. But because she is, the linguistics department settled for tense tension./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"And it will not work."/em Athena spun away from the tense tension, her blade scraping across the ground in a shower of sparks that cast shadows across the floor as she knocked Zer0's own blade away with her shield./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Assassin quickly cartwheeled away, because he's a ninja, and barely dodged Athena's thrown shield./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena leapt forwards, rolling and coming up slashing in a single, smooth motion as she caught her shield./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 parried each strike, losing ground quickly as the wall behind him drew nearer./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"While in the face of danger,"/em The Assassin sang as he rolled past the Gladiatrix, her blade following him and nearly catching his "My ideals stay true,"/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 came up in a spin, slashing lazily with his sword and following it up with a reverse-gripped swing of his Kunai./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena parried the sword with her own, and blocked the Kunai with her shield./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 pushed forwards, forcing the Gladiatrix back a step. "emYou will not break me. / I cannot be fooled, or tricked. / Your death approacheth."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena twisted her sword, bending her arm and locking Zer0's Katana between her blade and shield./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She lifted a leg and kicked the Assassin, sending him sliding across the cold metal ground, minus a samurai sword./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You talk too much." Athena commented, idly kicking Zer0's sword behind her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Hn. A bonus round?"/em The tone of his voice unsettled Athena, as she finally realized it./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 drew a second Kunai, holding it in his other hand as he switched stances./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"I'm going to cut you open, / from the stomach up."/em The Assassin disappeared in a shower of pixels, reappearing directly in front of Athena./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena herself barely dodged the lethal strike that he had thrown, acid spewing from the very tips of the Kunai. strong(!)/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Will you win the prize? / A Kunai to the sternum? / This will not take long."/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"This was a much more unstable individual than she had originally anticipated./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"emstrongL~M~S/strong/em/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong"I'm the captain of the POOP SHIP! Wait, emWHAT/em!?"/strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Salvador threw himself away from the buzz axe that buried itself in the steel, the blade turning and sparking into the steel, illuminating the hall. To be fair, he had a lot less leg to lose, and was therefor their most expendable asset anyways./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The rippling wall of muscle stared up at the three Vault Hunters as his buzz axe tore into the floor, sparks still flying. The single eye that was visible through the mask was staring at one Vault Hunter in particular./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"In turn, the thee Vault Hunters were staring back at the giant, too shocked to react, or shoot, or even piss themselves in pure terror./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Suddenly, it pulled the buzz axe free, and turned to the now cowering guard./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Seemingly ignoring the fact that he was already bound, the giant brushed Axton aside and picked up the guard, lifting him high into the air./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong"Were you bothering pretty lady?"/strong He asked rather politely./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The guard stared down at the man, silently./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong"THE BELLS OF SILENCE TELL THE TALE!" /strongThe man suddenly roared, taking the guard and rushing through the fog, back into the room./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The horrifying screams of pain that came from within made the three wish they had killed the guard./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"emstrongL~M~S/strong/em/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena ducked under the swing, only to receive a knee to the face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She tumbled backwards, scrambling to her feet and blocking the next attack with her shield./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The Kunai momentarily resisted against the shield, before Athena gave a strong push, knocking Zer0 off of his feet./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena pushed the advantage, swinging her sword downwards./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 rolled on his side away from the strike, turning slightly on his butt and kicking at the Gladiatrix's arm./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Athena held her sword tight, wincing as the Assassin's boot slammed against the inside of her wrist, but not letting go./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Zer0 suddenly began kicking his feet, legging himself away from Athena and climbing to his feet./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"At the same time, Athena freed her sword./p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The two rushed each other, aaaand.../p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMore To Come/em/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"(!)strong - a bird ran into my window... Why the fuck am I telling you this? I'm going to sleep./strong/p  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strong(!) - Due to experience not giving you the ability to shoot two bullets at a time from a semi auto gun, Tada! I present; Tw0 Fang./strong/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" noshade="noshade" size="1" /  
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;" /p 


	15. A Sorry Note

So what exactly happened?

Hm. Where to start? See, I was looking at the previous chapters and thought to myself "_Why not fix all of those errors while I work on this chapter?"_

And so I did. And it was nice. Until the entire _fucking story exploded into unreadable bullshit. _I will be contacting the support when I find out, well, how to do so, and see if they can help me fix the clusterfuck that has become of this story. My apologies for the inconvenience.


End file.
